It's funny how sometimes we think everything is going great - we're growing, changing, developing our faith - when in reality we're about to get a simple reminder of how broken and imperfect we really are.
In my own life recently, I've been doing fine, good actually. Until something came out of nowhere in the depths of my being: I'm too quick to judge. Over the past few years I've grown much in my opinion and attitude toward the broken in this world. I've adapted the mantra that the past is the past, and whatever happened then cannot and should not affect how we judge people's lives today. But the reality of the matter is that I myself have let my past hinder and derail my hopes for the future. I've let the things that I cannot change prevent me from taking the risks of new beginnings. And I'm at a crossroads... what do I do to push myself beyond what's happened, and forward to God's glorious plan for my life?
Surrender...
However, as I surrender, I find that my judgment goes beyond my own shortcomings to the mistakes of others. Instead of loving someone, supporting them through a crisis with true, pure, unbiased care, I replay their mistakes, their shortcomings, their failures over and over in my own mind. Literally telling myself, "well, they've done this or that, so I'm one up from them." or "how will I ever be able to understand this person with so much baggage?" (bring in Matthew 7:2-4 here). And I'm reminded that it's not my place to judge, it's not my place to choose who God gets to love, it's not my place to live in this "high and mighty" mentality thinking myself better than others. It's His choice, His grace, His mercy that restores the broken, heals the hurting, and loves the lonely. As it says in Romans 14:10, "You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat."
And so often, as Christians, we think that just because others can't physically see the mistakes we've made (unlike unwed mothers - for example), we are somehow better than them. Speaking to my friend Callie last night made me realize that just because my sins aren't open or public for everyone to see, doesn't mean that I'm not somehow harboring something detrimental to my overall wellbeing. And I'm amazed at the people who's reputations have been forever burned because of choices and mistakes they've made. Those that don't hide the choices they've made, the sins they've committed. But they bring them into the open, that they may be healed, but that they may also be used for God's Kingdom as a story of His redemption and care. They are truly some of the most genuine, open, life changing people we will ever have the chance to meet. Let's not let our judgment prevent us from friendship and relationship with those who've been in the deepest pits of life, who've faced the horrors of pain, addiction, and abuse. Instead, let's come along side them, encouraging and learning everything we can from their own experiences and the path they've come down to repentance and the forgiveness of Christ.
So I end with this... what are your secret sins? What are the things hidden so deep that it would be paralyzing if they were revealed? What is it that's hidden under lock and key? And what needs to be done so that life may be lived free from the angst of the past? What do we need to bring to the open so that we may be healed and grow deeper in our faith?
Freedom comes with revealing. And until each and every one of the deepest sins is approached, presented, revealed, and forgiven, we cannot be fully used by God to touch those around us.
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