Well, the good news is I'm all grown up (at least I think so?).
The bad news is I have NO idea what I'm doing.
Ever feel that way?
As I child I remember looking up to my parents, their friends, and other adults thinking "man, they have it together, they know what they're doing! I want to be just like them when I grow up."
And the fantastic news? THEY HAD NO CLUE WHAT THEY WERE DOING EITHER. Seriously. Finding someone living their passion is so few and far between in this world it's depressing.
But the fact of the matter is that each and every one of us has the ability to live within our giftings, within our passions, and to live the life we've always dreamed of.
Now don't get me wrong, there are days, my friends. There are days...and today was one of them, where everything in me is full of shame, frustration, stagnation, irritation, and just overall defeat.
You see, I failed a test. A big test... like a becoming a licensed individual kind of national exam. That kind of test. And this isn't the first time I've failed one of these. And quite often, post test, I beat myself up over it literally thinking that I'm the worst or dumbest human in the world because I can't pass a damn test. The depths of despair kind of thoughts...
And then I get to the end of the day and re-assess things. God's got it. For some odd reason He doesn't want me to be licensed at this time, or who knows, maybe it's a never thing. But I do know this - He has placed me where I am for a reason and I will work heartily in it to bring Him the glory.
Quite honestly, today was a horrible, no good, very bad day for me. I was holding back tears all day long in my own little pity party. But I have this mentality of "stay strong so no one can see". And that just sucks... vulnerability is gone today.
While I'm on the subject (I know I'm all over the place here) - the lack of safety and vulnerability today makes for some very shameful feelings in people. It's like it's this pent up tension that never really goes away. It's just beneath the surface and it hurts... it sucks. It literally drains one's energy.
So I tell you what... let's find people, trusted, respected friends to SHARE with. And let's be the type of friend who actually hears the tears that lie beneath the surface of our nearest and dearest. Let's empathize. Let's encourage. Let's bring things to the light that need to be brought to the light. Let's just bring back vulnerability. It's KEY. It's so key. I cannot tell you enough how key it is to a successful, joy filled, FREE life.
Can I get an amen?
And back to the passions subject - I see so many of us frustrated or feeling like we're not going anywhere because our job is not our passion. Or whatever it is that we're doing in life at this moment is not bringing us joy. But I've got news my friends... you can still live your passion, you just need to make it a priority.
So what, you may have to be a CPA to pay the bills, but you LOVE singing.
Why not use your after hours or your weekends to write your songs or record them?
You love writing?
Love cooking or baking?
Then bake! And give away the treats to your neighbors and those you love.
Love crafting or painting or creating things?
Take time to do it!
Your heart comes alive when you're doing what you love. Don't push it off... embrace it and do it!!
Man do I feel better after jotting all this down.
Thanks for listening!!! :-) :-) :-)