Here I sit on my typical blogging perch at my dining room table, munching on chocolate chips and peanut butter, listening to a random variety of music in my iTunes, and I just had this realization... Life is too short.
Life's too short to busy ourselves with the mundane.
Life's too short to worry about the "what if's"
Life's too short to just sit on the sidelines.
These last few weeks I've had a few wake up calls. This life is not about me. This life is not about what I can acquire, what I can gain. No. This life is about other's. It's about the great adventure that God has called me to. It's about His plan, His will, His direction. It's time to step up to the plate and partake in all things this life has to offer. I hate how busy I get with silly projects, or when I blow people off because I get swamped with some work project or just feeling overwhelmed with the "things" of life (you know - laundry, bills, cleaning the house, etc). I wish I could sit at a coffee shop and chat with people for hours. I wish I didn't mind if I were late just to invest time in someone else. I wish I didn't care if I were interrupted in the middle of something just to hug a friend. I wish I didn't get agitated by the small things and lose my focus on the much bigger picture.
This week I've come to realize that I live my life way too much out of fear, way too much out of the "what if's", way too much in the comforts of the American Dream. I want to travel. I want to experience. I want to go. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus on this earth... and I want my selfish, sinful nature to die so I can do so.
Oy! So much going through my mind today... so much on my heart. I feel I've lost much in these past months. And sometimes I don't know if I'll ever get it back. But there is one thing I do know - I serve a God who is exceedingly, abundantly more able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine. He's at work today and everyday. He's the one that leads my paths and allows me to intersect into the lives of others. And with that comes me dying to self as Paul says in Romans 7.
Father, let me not live this life going through the motions. It's too short to live it that way. Let me have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand your glorious ways and plans. For I don't want to waste another moment of the precious time I have....
Thursday, September 1, 2011
There are a few things in my life that would be really hard to live without and one of them is music. I find that I always have something playing in the background of my life. Even as I write this post I'm listening to the sounds of Aaron Keyes "you're working for our good... your plans are for us to prosper. You've not forgotten us. You're with us in the fire and the flood. Faithful forever, perfect in love. You are sovereign over us." I mean seriously, how can words like those not pierce your soul?
This week music and lyrics have literally stopped me in my tracks. It's been a bit of a doozy week and I sometimes find that I lack the words to describe the feelings and desires of my soul. Thus enters music, like David Crowder's "Shadows"-
"When shadows fall on us, we will not fear, we will remember. When all seems lost, we're thrown and tossed, We remember the cost, We rest in Him, the shadow of the cross."
God is our strength and refuge in times of trouble. In times of doubt and fear He's our portion and our courage.
Then there's the sappy country songs like the latest from Taylor Swift and Blake Shelton that just bring tears to this country girl's eyes as I listen... it all seems so unreal, unattainable, like the constant carrot that I can never reach. But every human soul still longs for that connection with another.
"Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk. Take away the pain. Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile!"
"God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. And for when I think I've lost my way, there are no words here left to say. It's true - God gave me you!" - (shoot! I want to be this to someone, someday!)
And the funny thing is, though I have something amazing staring me in the face, all I want to do is run. Run from the possibility, run from the pain that may come, run from the struggles, run from the love, just RUN away from anything!
So here I sit and ponder - begging the Lord for answers, for clarity, for confidence and courage. And all He keeps telling me is to rest and stay. Running is not an option. And then I hear 'if it's encouraging others, let them encourage". Dang it Lord - I don't want to right now! It's too scary, too risky! I just sense him saying in response, "I never said it would be easy..."