Saturday, January 12, 2008
Anyways, I've been thinking lately about the ways in which guys can win girls hearts over. It's honestly pretty easy, but you have to be diligent and keep her as a prized possession of yours. Here are a few good things to make a girl appreciate and love you for who you are..... enjoy!
1. Compliment her often- if you think she looks good or cute - telll her everytime. There is never enough compliments in a girls mind - and we LOVE them!
2. Bring her flowers frequently. We never tire of looking at something pretty.
3. Respect her always - this means opening all doors for her (even the car door), walking on the outside of the street, defending her when she is being threatened, and looking to meet her safety needs at all times.
4. Pray for her daily. Even if you don't even know who the certain someone for your life is right now, still pray for the right time and place for the two of you to meet.
5. Be on her side - you're a team - so why not work like a team, encouraging and supporting one another?
6. Take interest in the things that make her heart sing - that may be a favorite movie of hers, a pasttime she loves, books she enjoys reading, or organizations she's a part of.
7. Encourage her often to reach for the stars - know what her dreams and goals are and remind her often that she can do anything with dedication and focus. Be optimistic always.
8. When she's sad or scared just HOLD her for awhile. We don't need many words here - just a "it's going to be alright" and an "I love you". It's all we need - I promise - in a girls world a simple hug and one sentence can cure almost all woes.
9. Don't be afraid to apologize and admit you are wrong. We all make mistakes and it's not only the girls responsibility to apologize - swallow the pride here and fess up when it's appropriate.
10. Dance. Take her in your arms somewhere and dance to the music of your hearts (or the music on the radio) and just dance with her. Let her know of your love and your passion for her by gently dancing.
Okay, so there are many more things that can be done to make the love of your life sing... and I'd love anymore pieces of advice that anyone can give me. However, as a female, the things listed above are absolutely vital to the growth of a relationship. Sensitivity and patience are key to any successful relationship. Often times, however, we take our partners for granted and force them to the side instead of appreciating them for all they do in our lives. Unfortunatley, our world is exceedingly pessimistic about life and love - but for the success of any relationship we need to be constantly optimistic and continually growing the bond we have between one another.
My prayer tonight is that we would realize how we take our relationships for granted and how we can take simple steps to making sure that the important things in life are fulfilled. You can replace a car, a house, or a job. But we can NEVER replace the people in our lives. So let's work together at not taking them for granted.
One last note that I thought of today. If you had a second chance with anyone in the world - a friend, a parent, a lover, a sibling, a distance family member - what would you say to them now? And what is holding you back from making amends with one of the most influencial and important people in your life? We are not guaranteed tomorrow, and we are not even guaranteed the end of today.... but we have the choice and the opportunity to live each day of our lives to the fullest, and that includes with the people of importance in our lives as well....
Friday, January 4, 2008
I'm an ESFJ - which stands for Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging. According to the book I have here this is the synopsis of my personality type: "Helpful, warm, cooperative, ESFJ's work well when they can meet the needs of people in a structured, timely, and practical way. They strive to make sure that people and tasks are organized harmoniously. Exercising determination and follow through , they work to achieve results that make things better for all concerned."
Some things ESFJ's do that don't work so well:
- Take things said and actions done too personally.
- Actively avoid conflict to keep things "harmonious"
- Being a people pleaser - wanting everyone to get along.
- Backing away from giving necessary criscism to others
Some things that you should know about ESFJ's and working with them:
- We don't do well with "Devil's advocate" Role plays - just facts please
- If you don't plan anything, we won't react well - either let ESFJ's do the planning for you or let them be involved in the planning processes
- ESFJ's get irritated when people don't take seriously their causes or people that are important to them - the needs of others are our #1 priority
- ESFJ's are very structured so "last minute" things or spontinateity often place a lot of stress and pressure on an ESFJ.
- ESFJ's work on the words of others - it's important to make sure ESFJ's feel "important" or as if they "helped" in some way
- Give an ESFJ a task - and they will complete it quickly, responsibly, and correctly.
- ESFJ's need to be heard/listened to and find it irritating when people don't listen to them or think their ideas are "ridiculous".
Well, if that does not describe me... then I don't know what does. It kind of makes me sound like an uber intense person.... but what it boils down to is that everything I do in my life is for the needs and to help others within my life. I feel complete and as if I accomplished something if I am able to help someone who is in need. I guess I just like to feel "needed" in a way. However, the downside to my personality is that fact that I often times don't take care of myself because I'm so focused on the needs or wants of others. So that's a part that I'm currently working on changing because if i don't take care of me, I can't take care of others.
So if you're interested in looking into what your personality is and how you work with other's check out the Myers-Briggs personality test at the link below. It's actually REALLY interesting and it's pretty dead on to who you are as a person. This helps in relationships of all kinds because if you can understand your friends and where they are coming from or if you can understand your significant other's personality type - it will help you better communicate with the person and have a much more satisfying relationship.
Once you've found out your type.... check what the psychologists have to say about it.... I'd love to hear what type everyone is! Enjoy!
And if you want to know more about ESFJ's check out the link below....
Oh and one more on how I am in relationships:
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Case and point: Over the past few years I've been strangely influenced by my family members into believing that I was not the person that "I'm meant to be". I so love my mom and everything she does for me, but she can sometimes be a little, how do I say this, pushy? She gets an idea in her mind, and she will make sure that I follow through on it no matter what because it's "what I'm meant to do". I remember in High School a specific time when my mom got the bee in her bonnet that I was supposed to be a Civil Engineer. I asked myself and my mother at the time, "Do I even like math? No.... so what makes you think that I'd be any good as a Civil Engineer?" HA! You've gotta love her enthusiasm.
Okay, so back to our subject for the evening. I've just realized with SO many of my friends and family members that we are so swayed by other's opinions. We are literally paralyzed with fear of failing somone else that we are unable to act or react to our problems in the way our hearts and our minds are telling us to. It's frusrating for me because most of the time I don't even see the influence of other people until I'm so tangled in their bitter/twisted web to realize that the decisions I've made were solely based on someone else's opinion and not my own. I've had friend after friend come to me and say, "well I quit my job because my mom told me to" or "I broke up with him because my family influenced me to" or "I gave up on my friendship with her because my boyfriend thought she was a bad friend". Who is making our decisions anymore?? To me it's beginning to look like a lot more of other people's opinions are what goes these days, and we can't even find our own selves enough to realize and understand what our stance is on certain issues.
So, what do we do to combat these differing and constantly pressurized opinions? I think we need to take ourselves out of the pressures of the world and the influences of others and have a serious chat with OURSELVES. Listen to our own hearts and minds. What is our spirit telling us to do? Or better yet, why not go to God about these issues and come to Him with the questions or the issues we are struggling with? I think what it all boils down to is finding our own voice. It's inside each of us somewhere... it just takes time to find it sometimes. It takes energy, and it takes courage to take action with what we are telling ourselves, instead of the influences and things that other's are telling us to do. Let's just take time with US for once in our lives and have a chat with ourselves about whatever issues and problems are frustrating us. And maybe then we won't have such remorse, frustration, fear, or sadness - because we know we made the best decision for us - not them.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
I don't even know how to change this pattern, other than to make people a priority in our lives. Nearly everyday I take my family and my friends for granted. I'd rather get one last project done for school or work before spending time with those I love. But let's be honest, there is always going to be more work or more projects - but life is precious and you never know when you will lose someone in your life, maybe even forever. Carpe Diem! I'm resolving this year to make my family, friends, and Jesus the priority of my life. For they are the one's that will be there through the thick and thin and will help me through some of lifes hardest challenges.
On one of my friends facebook pages this morning I found the following quote and it really caught me off guard:
"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. "
How true those words can be at times! It is one of the most difficult, lonely, depressing, frustrating, sad, devastating things in life to feel unloved, unwanted, uncared for, or forgotten. This quote really woke me up this morning and just reminded me that I need to be a better friend to those around me. One smile, one word, one hug has the power to transform a life - to take someone from depression and being "forgotten" in the world - to someone who is strong and courageous and able to stand their own ground. It's absolutely amazing. We can be the light or the strength in someone's life. We can be the influence that saves them from a life of destruction and leads them to a life of truth, love, compassion, respect, and unconditional love. Don't you want to do that for someone? Don't you want to just go out and just let this lost world know they are loved - truly loved? Oh my gosh, everything in me right now wants to just start hugging random people!
A few verses come to mind when I think of the above quote- on is from Psalm 34 - it says:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit"
Another says in Psalm 68:
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."
So let's defend and protect the widows and the fatherless - let us love those that are struggling, that are hurting so deeply. Let us be the light in each other's lives, giving hope for a wonderful future and love to uplift them for today. I'm excited for this next year - it's going to bring some powerful changes, some amazing new opportunities, and just a time to start over and start fresh with life. Here's to a GREAT 2008!!! :-)