Give me Jesus.

Life sure is one great adventure. You never know where you're headed next. And for much of my life I go through the motions, I put my nose to the grindstone and I plow through it. I've been called "super woman", I've been asked "how do you do it all?", and I've been challenged "you need to slow down... just slow down". And the wisdom of my sweet husband telling me to slow down is one of the greatest insights into my own flaws.

If I'm honest, I hate flaws. I have this side of me that strives for perfection. And for some reason my 29 year old self often falls into the trap of "you've got to prove yourself to your mom, your dad, your friends, your husband... to yourself." And I'll tell you what - it's no way to live. I've literally been going so fast for so long that I don't even smell the roses anymore. I don't know how to take my time, to slow down. It's gotten so bad that I hurt myself in the process. Yes, you read that right, I hurt myself. Not intentionally, please understand that, but in my hurried ways I have a tendency to cut off my finger tips while making dinner (not recommended!), run into walls, hit my hips on the corners of furniture, and literally slice my hand open without even realizing it (until I look down and see blood).

People. This is not normal. This is not the life our sweet Jesus has for us. And I guess what it all comes down to is that I've somehow become desensitized to everything. Somewhere along the way, I lost touch with how I feel. And if I'm completely honest, I've lost a lot in my life and a lot of it still haunts me to this day. I used to run to the hills and sit in the middle of nowhere with the Lord and just hash it all out. And now I'm in a concrete jungle that seems more a jail than anything. I don't know where to go and I feel stuck. It's hard to slow down or stop here. There's always more to do, more to strive for, and it's.... Empty.

And then I get some semblance of perhaps reacting to something and instead I just shut into myself and process it for 3 months, not saying a word to others. Then the blow up happens, the tears fall, the realization of a diagnosis hits and I sob. And I don't mean little hiccup like sobs... I mean the one's of Biblical proportions where your entire body shakes and you make this sound out of the depths of your inner most being that completely freak out your husband. That kind of sobbing...

Another month goes by and I finally talk to a trusted friend, yet still feeling completely in denial about the whole thing. Then more of this meaningless stuff keeps coming up in my life and I'm distracted, again. When finally, today, I have this epiphany, of sorts, or more of a gentle *WAP* upside the head from my sweet Lord giving me some perspective. And it went something like this:

In desensitivity... give me Jesus.
In a world of hurry... give me Jesus.
In doubt and despair... give me Jesus.
In hope and joy... give me Jesus.
In the brokenness of it all... give me Jesus.
In abnormalities... give me Jesus.
In the unhealed parts of me... give me Jesus.
In potential barrenness... give me Jesus.
In life, in death... give me Jesus.

In it all... give me Jesus.

My Love. My rock. My Salvation.

Give me JESUS.

There's somethin' about country music

Ok folks.

Ok peeps.

Ok... y'all!

The CMA's are currently being shown at the local G House and we're loving every minute of it. I just got up and danced in the living room to Keith Urban's "Somewhere in my car". No really, I did! And I LOVED it!! Seriously, that song gets one's foot tapping and makes me want to learn all things line dancing and the 2 step.

Then there's Miranda Lambert's "Automatic". Oh my goodness if that is not the story of my life I don't know what is.

Or I guess, Tim McGraw's "Meanwhile back at Mama's" is another fan favorite that I feel is another story, or longing of my life. Oh my word it's so stinking good!

And then, and THEN there's Eric Church's "Give me back my Hometown". Good gracious, these songs just pull at the heart strings.

But the one that holds my heart, that makes me go pitter patter in so many ways is Dierks Bentley's "I Hold On". And not only because it's a great song (it really is!). It's also not only because it reminds me that good men do exist (my hubby is one of them!) but also reminds me of the love of my sweet Jesus and how he holds on above and beyond what anything on this earth shows, His love Endures. It does people. :-)

I guess what all this chatting is about is the fact that county music makes me long for the country. I long for space, a ranch, a cabin in the woods. Somewhere that feeds the soul. Away from the hustle and bustle. Away from the daily grind. And more into Southern Hospitality that I've always so loved. A place where you know your neighbors and you bake them a cake just because. A place where community is a part of life. A place where rest lives, love grows, and boundless freedom lies.

And in case you have no clue of the greatness I've talked about in this post, please take it upon yourselves to take a visit to the local youtube videos tagged below. You're welcome.

Somewhere with you

Automatic

Meanwhile back at Mama's

Give me back my Hometown

I Hold On

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Well, the good news is I'm all grown up (at least I think so?).

The bad news is I have NO idea what I'm doing.

Ever feel that way?

As I child I remember looking up to my parents, their friends, and other adults thinking "man, they have it together, they know what they're doing! I want to be just like them when I grow up."

And the fantastic news? THEY HAD NO CLUE WHAT THEY WERE DOING EITHER. Seriously. Finding someone living their passion is so few and far between in this world it's depressing.

But the fact of the matter is that each and every one of us has the ability to live within our giftings, within our passions, and to live the life we've always dreamed of.

Now don't get me wrong, there are days, my friends. There are days...and today was one of them, where everything in me is full of shame, frustration, stagnation, irritation, and just overall defeat.

You see, I failed a test. A big test... like a becoming a licensed individual kind of national exam. That kind of test. And this isn't the first time I've failed one of these. And quite often, post test, I beat myself up over it literally thinking that I'm the worst or dumbest human in the world because I can't pass a damn test. The depths of despair kind of thoughts...

And then I get to the end of the day and re-assess things. God's got it. For some odd reason He doesn't want me to be licensed at this time, or who knows, maybe it's a never thing. But I do know this - He has placed me where I am for a reason and I will work heartily in it to bring Him the glory.

Quite honestly, today was a horrible, no good, very bad day for me. I was holding back tears all day long in my own little pity party. But I have this mentality of "stay strong so no one can see". And that just sucks... vulnerability is gone today.

While I'm on the subject (I know I'm all over the place here) - the lack of safety and vulnerability today makes for some very shameful feelings in people. It's like it's this pent up tension that never really goes away. It's just beneath the surface and it hurts... it sucks. It literally drains one's energy.

So I tell you what... let's find people, trusted, respected friends to SHARE with. And let's be the type of friend who actually hears the tears that lie beneath the surface of our nearest and dearest. Let's empathize. Let's encourage. Let's bring things to the light that need to be brought to the light. Let's just bring back vulnerability. It's KEY. It's so key. I cannot tell you enough how key it is to a successful, joy filled, FREE life.

Can I get an amen?

And back to the passions subject - I see so many of us frustrated or feeling like we're not going anywhere because our job is  not our passion. Or whatever it is that we're doing in life at this moment is not bringing us joy. But I've got news my friends... you can still live your passion, you just need to make it a priority.

So what, you may have to be a CPA to pay the bills, but you LOVE singing.

Why not use your after hours or your weekends to write your songs or record them?

You love writing?

Then write!

Love cooking or baking?

Then bake! And give away the treats to your neighbors and those you love.

Love crafting or painting or creating things?

Take time to do it!

Your heart comes alive when you're doing what you love. Don't push it off... embrace it and do it!!

Man do I feel better after jotting all this down.

Thanks for listening!!! :-) :-) :-)

I'm Norwegian and I know it!

Ok, random post here...

You know those heart flutter, goosebump moments in life?

 

I just had one when I was reminded of the travels of my great-grandparents from a small town called Skudeneshavn, Norway to Staten Island, NY. They were in search of a better land and home. They came for the American Dream. And thus, the Slattebrek embarked on life's great adventure (maybe this is why I get this bug to adventure so often?).
 

Once here, their name, Slattebrek, was Americanized to what's now known as Slater. And that's where the goosebumps set in. There's something about knowing your history, your name, where you came from, where your family once was to where they are now.
 

I bet my great-grandpa Ole would be amazed to learn that his family has finally settled halfway around the world from his original home. And I bet he'd be so proud of the lives we've made for ourselves, just by his decision to leave the home and the land he knew and loved.
 

Astonishing really how one choice can completely catapult us in a new direction - for GENERATIONS! I know I wouldn't be where I am today if he hadn't have made that bold move. I'd probably still be bundled up in the frigid North, touring fjords and the like.

 

And now? I have the travel bug... I want to go see where my ancestors came from. My aunt tells me it was a small town in mid-Norway called Skudeneshavn. Say that 3 times fast!

 

Norway - here I come!

 

Eventually... :-)

Turn the other cheek

It's with me biting my tongue that I share today's thoughts...

Friday night, my husband, some friends, and I were at a local outdoor shopping mall talking, sharing wine, and eventually moving to a local attraction. With that said, we had a wonderful time together and were super excited to be at this particular establishment.

Now, mind you, this place is like a grown up Chucky Cheese, and the boys of our group got into their competitive modes and were stoked on all the fun this place had to offer. My husband was no exception to this rule, and he was soon passionately playing one of the games when his tickets got stuck in the machine, and being the inventive man he is, he started toying around with the machine to de-clog said tickets.

This is where the whole debacle of later embarrassment started... this lady comes up to my husband and tell him to leave the machine alone and that he doesn't know what he's doing. To which, my husband responds, "it's none of your business". The lady clearly did not like this answer, so I told my husband to gather his stuff and let it slide.

Here's where it gets juicy, and Tenacious' frustration, or better yet, anger, comes into play. As we finished for the night, we walked out of said establishment and were waiting for our friends to finish their game. There was a bubble maker outside, which to my own childhood joy, I started popping the bubbles as they floated by. It's at this point that I hear the lady from inside the place (with her two children under the age of 10, mind you) start yelling at my husband and calling him a "dumb a**hole".

Ok people, prepare yourselves!

NO ONE calls my friends, family, or any person I'm with an a-hole and gets away with it. Something in me snapped and I responded with "well that's unnecessary and unkind". This did not make the lady happy, so she comes right up to me and starts yelling at me and calling me a little b****. I'm FLOORED at this point. Internally I'm thinking, "is this woman for real right now?! She's got 2 kids right there and she's cussing me out for defending my husband?"

My very wise husband then steps between this woman and me and asks her to kindly leave us alone and go on with her night. She would have none of this and then, THEN, she literally SHOVES my husband with all her might... TWICE!

OOOOO.... then the anger showed up. And this is something I am not proud of, and completely was un-called for. (I admit this to you, dear readers, for the sake of making it known and asking for forgiveness, in a way - I really feel bad for what I said to this woman and wish I had the opportunity to apologize).

Anyway, I told her to take her hands off my husband whom I honor and respect and that she has NO place whatsoever to lay her hands on anyone. And then I asked her to leave us alone.

She then by-passes my husband and walks straight up to me and says she'll punch me in the face (like RIGHT up in my face) and I say (not my wisest moment) "go ahead... because if you do I'll charge you for assault. You've already assaulted my husband, so feel free.".

BAD Tenacious. BAD TENACIOUS.

However, this tactic seemed to work as she turned and walked away. And that's the end of my confrontation story.

I really should not have even said a word to this woman and let what she said about my husband roll off my back. This would have completely defused the situation and we would not be here having this conversation. But we're all sinners, we all fall short, and we all have our moments.

And I take this as a lesson about myself. I'm fiercely protective of those I love. Don't mess with me and my people, lest you want to get a whole ear full from me. I do not accept people calling those I cherish names, defiling them in some way, or just being plain rude. We're grown ups here, at least I think we are. But I clearly need to learn the lesson that our sweet Lord teaches us of  "turn the other cheek".

Should have, could have, would have... my second lesson is that I hold onto this stuff and take it very personally for DAYS, WEEKS, and sometimes - YEARS. I often replay these things in my mind... and it only holds me back from being a better woman today.

I've asked forgiveness and now it's time to let go and move on... that's the only way to gain healing, even in something as trivial as this.

Praise God that He is so merciful and would have us learn as we're here... because those life lessons are what make us better, if we let them.

The Winter...

Let me preface this post with the fact that I love Southern California for the life it's given me, the friends it's brought, and the husband I met along the journey. I would not be the woman I am today if I did not make the decision nearly 5 years ago to pack up and go on life's great adventure with nothing but a car full of stuff, a childhood teddy bear named Ellie, and the Lord by my side.

However, there's a part deep within my soul that yearns for the Pacific Northwest. For home. In every land there are pros and cons. Here in California it's always sunny and beautiful - I can hike, bike, and run year round outside - and I LOVE that. However, I also live in what feels like this never ending, claustrophobic, concrete jungle. It's like the Tim McGraw song, "Where the green grass grows":

There's concrete growin' in the city park
I don't know who my neighbors are
There's bars on the corners and bars on my heart

Oh my gosh! This is totally me - in California. There never seems to be a true "change" in season, unless we're having some randomly ridiculous rain storm that lasts for months (which actually happened the 1st year I was here, and never once since).

And that's where I find myself today...

I miss the changing seasons, the colors of the fall leaves and the frosted branches of winter. I miss the slower pace, the cuddling up and staying in to watch Christmas movies. I miss the stillness of a winter's night and the silence of snowfall.

And quite honestly, I miss wearing leggings, knee highs, boots, and a big ol' cozy sweater, made complete by a beanie.

Those types of things don't happen here. There's no slowing down. There's no real change in seasons (ok, so it gets to be 50 degrees at night, it's still 70 degrees during the day people and that is NOT boots and sweaters weather!).

It's like a part of me is missing when seasons don't happen, and it's Biblical too! Good ol' Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time and place for everything, a season for everything under the sun. I'm taking that literally here!

I want slow. I want silence. I want o build a fire and cuddle up with a good book. I want to bake cookies and deliver them. I want to have snow, because the city sleeps when it snows and everyone shuts down their electronics and comes out to play.

There's something magical, healing really, about a change in season. There's a time for busyness and harvesting and spring, but there's also a time that EVERY body needs of rest, relaxation, and silence that only the winter can provide.

So here's to having a winter, somehow, in Southern California!

Misrepresenting me

"You have to get to the place where you don't say things you don't mean. You don't lie. You don't misrepresent things. It doesn't mean being rude, it's just that you have to get to the point that you believe what you say... learn to be who you are, what you stand for. You've got to do this in your relationship with God and with others." - Andrew Wommack

As I've spent the last few months or so really sitting with the Lord and a few close family members on all things life, my calling, and what makes me, me, I've realized that MUCH of my life over the past 4 years has been a misrepresentation of me.

Yup. I said it. I've misrepresented myself. What does that mean? Well, I guess you could say that I've been too concerned with making friends that I have left myself by the wayside and pretty much done what I thought would make others like me. And you know what? It's a miserable existence. Keeping up with appearances and trying to be "that girl" all the time is exhausting. Devastating really. And if I'm really honest - depressing.

When I moved to California I quickly noticed that there was a LOT of "Christian-ese" spoken here. So to fit in, I learned the "lay of the land" and started doing the same thing. I made note of what others would say, experience, and do so that I could do and say the same things. I didn't want to rock the boat, so I just became a chameleon of whatever those around me believed and did. At first it was refreshing, amazing really. I suddenly felt accepted, and I loved it.

Fast forward 4 years and I sit, very uncomfortably, in my own skin. After the fallout with some friends over a year ago, and the realization that they were never really, true friends to me to begin with, the whole "Who am I?" question began. And over the last year it's resurfaced over and over again. Finally, bringing me to the breaking point of me going "Holy mother, I have completely lost sight of the calling laid on my life, my passions, and my giftings. I've become a chameleon of everyone around me."

So here I sit, having to now face the friends that I've made and lost these last years, whom  I pushed away for fear of disappointing them or getting a lecture, or just losing them altogether. But it seems I've already done that in my own self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

The woman that I am called to be is a lover of God first and foremost, and a lover of His image bearers - both lost and found. She is gracious, kind, generous, and hard working. She is hospitable in every way. She loves meeting new people and hearing their stories; she craves it. She desires to bring people together for dinner, for parties, anything really and to make them feel loved and cared for in the process. She is cheerful, optimistic, and relentless when it comes to getting things done. She's athletic, a health nut, and a fitness guru in the making. She's an encourager who loves to do "little things' for those she loves. She's the doer that gets ideas to become realities. She loves to laugh, to spend time with others, to adventure, and to be in the peaceful beauty that is nature. She hates the "same 'ol grind" and looks forward to getting out of it. She loves being girly, taking showers everyday, and looks forward to dressing up and wearing her heels. She enjoys down time, days of rest and staying in bed all day. She appreciates dinners out and getting to know the waitresses and bartenders that serve her. She is invigorated by conversation with others. She's a planner who can go with the flow. She's a dreamer of BIG things and works hard to make them a reality. She trusts the Lord with the details of life and finds His peace and love her constant companion. She likes order and cleanliness, though her life is sometimes chaos. She imagines often of a home and a lifetime of love and generosity shared with her dear, sweet husband.

This is me. The real me. I have opinions though I often don't voice them. I'm afraid of rocking the boat, so I often keep my mouth shut though I disagree with others. I'm realizing that I'm more liberal in my faith than others. I believe Grace and Love are the biggest callings the Lord gives us. I don't like Calvinism. I'm more Weslyan in my approach to faith. I'm not here to judge, I leave that up to the one the Lord has appointed to do so. I believe that my God is big enough to do anything and I know He will answer my prayers - whether it's yes, no, or not yet. I believe you have to ask to receive and dare to believe that God will give you exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. And I believe the Gospel is simple - and my calling on this earth, too. But all too often it's complicated through the opinions of centuries of theologians. I believe there's a lot more gray than black and white (yup, I said that too). We're too harsh and bitter towards others... and all too often there's not enough grace.

No more misrepresentation. I will stand for who I am and what I believe. No more complacency. No more chameleon. I will be me, period.

I commit to write more, call more, reach out more, pray more, give more, and love more.

"If God tells you to do something, you do it. Just do it. You say what you mean and you mean what you say. You're either a person of integrity, a person who sticks to his/her word, or you're not. Which will you choose?"

Who do you say I am?

"But what about you?" Jesus asked, "Who do you say I am?"

Peter answered, "You are the Messiah" - Matthew 16:15-16

Controversial topic? Yes. Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man, the Messiah to some, a prophet to others. The miracle worker, the healer, the friend of foes. And some would dare say, the rebel of His time, going against deeply rooted rituals of "religion". The one who dares relationship and forgiveness, over ritual and show.

This, my friends, is the Jesus I know and love. Just a few descriptors of who this Man has become in my own life...

Simply put, what Jesus came to accomplish could only be accomplished by Him. He came to seek and save the lost. To be a ransom for the sins of each of us. He came so that you and I may be free and made new amidst the chaos and evil of this world today.

Jesus is ever loving, ever gracious, ever tender, and forever in pursuit of you, his sweet child. He came to love and to die for you, his prized son/daughter. He came so that you may have life.  True, fulfilling, satisfying LIFE!

Jesus is one to be completely honest and "real" with. Maybe the only someone one can fully trust with every detail of life. He's not in the business of being condescending. He's in the business of grace. He's not dismissisive. No, he's responsive. He will not ridicule you but will build you up. He is not judgmental. He's merciful. And oh does His love abound! His love is pure, unconditional. There is nothing you can or cannot do to earn His love, His grace, and His mercy. And it NEVER changes. Ever, never, ever, period. It's perfect.

And perfect love casts out fear. Think of the things that you're most afraid of: Being alone for the rest of your life, running out of money, losing a family member, losing your job, losing your beauty, losing your success, becoming ill, etc.. Now imagine a life without fear of those very things. Is that even possible? To be relieved from the pressure, the stress, anxiety, the fear that overwhelms us?

How freeing would that be? Will that allow you to do more in your life? Would that allow you to be happy for once? Would it allow you to feel free and at peace with the rest of your life? The great news is that freedom from fear is available to you. And as silly as it sounds it's in the name of Jesus. It's His love that casts out fear. It's His love it takes all anxious thoughts all the stress all the fear and separates it as far as the east is from the west. His incredible, unending love is perfect and in Him all things are possible. He loves you. Cares for you. Desires relationship with you. And no matter who you are or what you've done - that cannot separate you from Him. He's there. Always.

1 thing then a 1000

If there's one thing I've learned these last few years, there's a thousand. It seems that each day I'm faced with yet another truth, another lesson, or another day of trusting. Is it easy? Surely not. I find I'm plagued with uncertainty of the future and constantly reminded of living here and now. I cannot change everything in life in a blink of an eye. And I'm my own person, uniquely created, with a specific calling and direction on my life.

I was just reading a dear friend of mine's blog. Her name is Callie and she's been a gem of a friend since I first met her back in High School. She loves Jesus like no other, she's honest, she's vulnerable, she's sweet and kind. She's one of those rare women with heart of gold and such compassion and grace. I love her to pieces. And one of the things I love most about her is her courage. That girl is a country wrangler, in the mountains in Colorado and is living her dream and passion day in and day out. Is it easy for her? Probably not. And like me, I'm sure she has those moments and days of "really Lord? What the heck?!" But I am so incredibly proud of her and all she's done.

Then there's my BFF, Jenny. This girl is a straight up Doctor now. Yup. She is legit like that! I have watched this woman work diligently and hard for her entire educational life. She is one of the most determined and focused women I know. She knew what she wanted to do at an early age and pursued her passions full speed ahead. I am so incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments. Unreal to think that nearly 10 years have passed since she started this journey. And I remember the times of exhaustion and frustration as she faced deadlines and internships. But here she is, a successful, PhD.

And there's my co-worker, Patty, who is the most hard working woman I've ever met. She is focused and reliable, trustworthy and diligent. She has a 10 month old baby, works full time, and yet still has a smile on her face each morning. I don't know how she does it, how she finds the strength to push through each day. But she does it, and she does it well. She is a remarkable person and a wonderful friend, mother and wife to all those she loves.

Why do I bring up all these women? Because I look at each of their lives and go "wow, they've got it made". But then I realize that we all have our own journey on this earth. And mine may not look like other's, and that's OK! I may not yet be the successful business woman that I once thought I'd be. I may be turning 27 in a month and not have that Condo of my own I always assumed I'd have by now. I may not have all my debt paid off and the funds to travel. But you know what? In the grand scheme of things it doesn't even matter. I'm given today, this hour, this moment. And for these things, I'm thankful. God has been good to me. And I often act like a spoiled little brat because my dreams aren't coming true. But if I'm truly honest with myself, those dreams have DRASTICALLY changed over my 20's. I no longer worry about a man or marriage or a family and children. It's not mine to worry about. God's got it, whom or what do I have to fear?

And an epiphony of sorts came to me last night I sat in my beastly hot house after a run, eating caprese salad and chocolate ice cream (I know, gross, but delicious on a hot day!). Why does life have to be this huge complicated thing? Why does my relationship with the Lord have to be this grandiose experience of visions and great things? What if He and I have one of those relationships you haev with your best friend, where it's just simple? I'm the simple girl, who lives on a simple plot of land somewhere there's seasons, with a front porch and rocking chair... and He's my Savior, the one my heart loves, who I just do life with. You know, loving others, being generous, giving shelter to those who need it, feeding those who are hungry, being the hands and feet of Him who first loved me. Is that crazy to desire?

Or maybe it's exactly how this whole relationship with the One and Only is supposed to be... a relationship. Plain and simple.

Mama.

Do you see that beautiful woman in the photo? The brunette next to the blond? Well, that's the 57 year old version of me. AKA - my mama.

You want to know something? I'm one extremely blessed daughter to call that incredible woman mine. You know why? Because she shows me what the love of Jesus truly is. She is one of the most grace filled, forgiving women anyone will ever have the pleasure of meeting. She's generous and kind, even to those who have hurt her the most. She comes to anyone with open arms of love and tenderness that can't be matched by anyone else. She is one of the most diligent, determined, hard working people I have ever had the opportunity of knowing. She will fight for, defend and protect those dearest to her no matter what the cost. She's always been my advocate, my cheerleader, and my motivator. And the greatest part? She's also my best friend.

This woman has prayed over me. Pushed me. Fought with me. Cried with me. Held me in my moments of deepest pain. And she has never once stopped loving me along the way. Though we've both had rough go's at this thing called life, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this woman believes in me. She trusts me. And she knows my full potential.

To think that on numerous occasions throughout my life I nearly lost this remarkable woman is honestly, unbearable. Boy we get wake up calls throughout life, even as little as a year and a half ago when heard she was at risk for a brain aneurysm.

Call me sentimental. Call me mushy. Call me that crazy emotional girl. But damn it, there's a few things I've learned in this life and one of them is to never, EVER let a day go by without telling someone you love them. Life is short. And the precious moments we get with one another are limited and priceless. You never know what an hour or a day may bring. A phone call can change everything. I don't ever want anyone I love and cherish to go through their lives not knowing how much I care. There are relationships in this life that are irreplaceable. And the bond between a mother and a daughter is one of them.

Mama, even though I may not be the most patient or the most understanding at times when you have your "mommy moments", I love you. And I love you more each and every day of my life. You have taught me so much and truly made me into the woman I am today. Yes, I'm kind of like your mini me (though I'm still in denial about it), and yes, I do stupid things sometimes. But you have stood by me every step of every path I've decided to pave my way down. Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for the sacrifices you've made to love me and make sure I'm taken care of. Nothing, not ONE of your actions ever goes unnoticed. Thank you for showing me through your grace and your actions what the true unmerited favor of our Father looks like.

I love you always and forever, no matter what. :-)

Give us this day our daily bread...

There's been new meaning in this age old phrase as of late. For some reason, my human self has gotten yet another "blown away" moment from the Lord. And it's as simple as His provision for my "daily bread".

As of June 1st, I started my own business. What kind of business, you may be wondering... the kind of business that allows me to work out of my strengths and giftings. One that I never would have thought possible until a friend told me he could see me doing it. And here I am, nearly a year after I became licensed and insured... a person trainer!

5 mornings a week I get up at the crack of dawn, drive to Newport, and train some of the most wonderful women I've come across since moving here. They have children, spouses, clubs, groups, and friends galore. They also have some of the best stories to share about life, love and everything in between. And I've learned much from them, the biggest being to take life one day at a time and savor every moment, every memory. Because before I know it I'll be their age telling the stories of youth.

As I sat in my car after bootcamp on Monday morning, I went "wow, Lord, you're incredible. Thank you for these women and I pray a blessing over each of them." Just then, one of the gals knocked on my window, smiling from ear to ear and with a check in her hand. It was for that days class. And it hit me... "Give us THIS day our daily bread." He literally provides for me each day, from the home I share with a dear friend, the car I drive, right on down to the lunch I get to eat while at work on any given afternoon.

I don't know why that smiling face and check rocked my world so much, but God is in the details of life. Yes, He's in the 'big" stuff, but He's just as much in the "small" parts of my everyday. He knows my needs even when I am completely unaware.

And it hit me... "taste and see that the Lord is GOOD". He's everywhere. In everything. In all of my comings and my goings. He's my constant companion. The one I can trust and rely on above all else. He's faithful. He's good. He gives His love and blessings to me despite my rebellion, my questions, my prioritizing other things above him. He's gracious. He's kind. He's merciful. And HE PROVIDES for me exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine. He gives me THIS day my daily bread.

For all of this, I am astonished, blown away, and incredibly thankful.

Borrowed, but so good!

Today, I found this incredibly true, incredibly deep, and incredibly thought provoking post on Grace. God's grace. And how insane it can be sometimes. I just had to share...

"Grace is....

Grace is vulgar, offensive, and despicable. It is unfair. It shows no favorites, and respects no boundaries. It is by far the most hypocritical part of the Bible.


Grace is Samson, a man favored by God who slaughtered an army of 1000 men with a donkey’s jawbone and still (anointed as he was) gave into temptation and slept with that Siren, Delilah, who shaved his head and stole his strength. At the end of his life, disobedient to God, eyes gouged out, bald, and chained up in a dungeon, he called on God to be used one last time. And God answered.


Grace is Moses when he parts the Red Sea, leads his people out of Egypt, speaks directly to God, and personally delivers the Ten Commandments when in the first chapter of Exodus, he kills a man with his bare hands and buries him in the desert. And when he calls on God, God still answers.


Grace is the apostle Paul, previously known as Saul prior to preaching the gospel, a Biblical contracted killer hunting down and eliminating Christians for a living.


Grace is the woman at the well, and the prostitute who hid spies in her home,


Grace is me here and now, writing this, married and breathing after all the hearts I’ve bruised, the lies I’ve told, the brothers I’ve betrayed, the churches I’ve bashed, and the addictions I’ve let control me.

Grace is the Son of Man being nailed to a tree crying out, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.”


Grace is the thief on the cross who in the last moments of his life shouts to the Christ crucified along side him, “Don’t forget me.”


Grace is Christ’s reply to him: “On this day you will be with me in paradise.”


Praise God for His merciful kindness and His overwhelming Grace. He's taken the broken, the messed up, the 'failures" and looks at us and says: "My Grace is Sufficient.".

Amen!



The rest of the article: Make it Made - Grace Is

As of late...

As of late I can't really find the words to describe the state of my heart. So I find myself meditating on the promises of a Father who loves unconditionally, provides abundantly, cares deeply, and longs to shower His children with His undenyable grace and compassion. What an incredible God we have... a loving Father, a constant companion, and a loyal friend. Without Him I am nothing. And today I am reminded of everything HIM.

‎"Even if you turn away, I'll tell you still. Don't you know I've always loved you? And I always will." - third day

"Great is your faithfulness, True are your promises, You never change. You NEVER fail, oh God."

"The Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!" - Is. 30:18

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." - Ps. 126:6

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." -Job 42:2

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." - Pro. 10:19

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." - Pro. 19:11

"Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that man gets justice" - Pro. 29:26

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
*a time to be born and a time to die
*a time to plant and a time to uproot
*a time to kill and a time to heal
*a time to tear down and a time to build
*a time to weep and a time to laugh
*a time t omourn and a time to dance
*a time to scatter and a time to gather
*a time to embrace and a time to refrain
*a time to search and a time to give up
*a time to keep and a time to throw away
*a time to tear and a time to mend
*a time to be silent and a time to speak
*a time to love and a time to hate
*a time for war and a time for peace" - Ecc. 3:1-8

"Rend your heart... return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in LOVE." -Joel 2:13

"If you could see the extent of destruction that is set in motion when you speak against one another, you would learn to hold your tongue. However, this is not a matter of words but of the condition of your heart and your willingness to say things about someone else that you would not want spoken about yourself. You will be held accountable for every word that you speak... be careful what you say!"

"The trials of life are sent to make us, not break us. Financial troubles may destroy a persons business but build up his character. And a direct blow to the outer person may be the greatest blessing possible to the inner person." -Malthie Babcock

"GOD deals with impossiblities. It's never too late for Him to so do..." - Streams in the Desert

"God is at work in the world today. He is working as a prayer answering God. That is one of His names." -Ps. 65:2

"God uses broken things. Those used for God's glory are those who have been broken in their finances, broken in their self-will, broken in their ambitions, broken in their lofty ideals, broken in their worldly reputation, broken in their desires, and often broken in their health. Yes, He uses those who seem totally hopeless and helpless." - Streams in the Desert

"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being FULLY persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised." -Romans 4:20-21

"God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does He speak then not act? Does He promise then not fulfill?" - Numbers 23:19

"Difficulty is actually the atmosphere surrounding a miracle, or a miracle at it's initial stage. Yet if it is to be a great miracle, the surrounding condition will be not simply a difficulty but an utter impossibility. And it is the clinging hand of His child that makes a desperate situation a delight to God."

"When I am afraid, I will trust YOU. In God, who word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid."

Faith: the substance of what is Hoped for, the belief in what is unseen.

"... fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised.... God is not merely able but abundantly able, bountifully and generously able, with an infitinte surplus of resources and eternally able to do just as He has promised. He is the God of limitless resources... and our thoughts and our prayers are too small, and our expectations are too low. God wants us to raise our vision to a higher level and calls us to have greater expectations."

"If your version of Christianity is one that causes you to not love certain people, then you've missed the whole point of grace. Jesus didn't have a "favorite people" list, He died for all of us. My sin, your sin, his sin, her sin, OUR sin, sent Him to the cross. Stop hating and start loving. When you love your brothers and your sisters, they don't see you, they see God." - Annaliese Marie Lawrence

‎"Your circumstances and your past do not reflect your value... You are God’s child. His heir. His princess. His beloved. His creation"

‎'Because the resurrection is an actual historical event, we can be forgiven, we can be reconciled with god, we can spend eternity with him, and we can trust jesus' teaching as being from god.' -ravi zacharias

‎'Human promises are often worthless; many broken promises have left broken hearts... But God has never broken a single promise to his children.'

The greatest of these is LOVE

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken" - C.S. Lewis

Risk. Love involves risk. It means laying your heart on the line. It means being vulnerable and open to another. It means showing the best parts of you and sharing the worst of you. It means facing the fear and anxiety that comes with sharing your life with another. It may mean love unrequited. But it also may be the the greatest gift of one's life. So I say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I wish it were that easy to open ourselves to the risk that love involves. I wish I could literally shake some people and tell them "you are loved. PERIOD". I wish my love could just permeate the hearts and souls of another with a simple touch. But all too often the walls of hurt, the walls of pride, the walls of bitterness, the walls of resentment seem to creep up and love is shattered before it ever even gets an opportunity to grow.

C.S. Lewis goes on to say in The Four Loves, "if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket/coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -safe, dark, motionless, airless (alone) - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

Oh my heart aches with that statement. How many hearts I've experienced with this very disease. This idea that if they just cut everyone off, then they'll be fine, they won't be hurt, they won't ache for someone to love and be loved - to be fully known and loved despite our shortcomings. And in the process of guarding themselves from love, they will lose all feeling... which is quite often the goal. And numbness sets in. These souls end up 'going through the motions' of life, never experiencing the incredibly beautiful, challenging, fulfilling bond that is love for another.

And that's the crazy part. The more you love, the more you are free, the more you grow, the more you LIVE. Life begins to fill with color, with joy, with... well, life. And suddenly the dark, solemn days of loneliness and hiding are gone. Freedom sets in. The chains of oppression, depression, independence, and loneliness are broken.

"Although vulnerability will often include pain, precluding vulnerability also leads to pain. And, unlike being vulnerable, turning in on yourself and shrouding yourself in protective armor cannot lead to happiness – only bitterness and more pain..."
 
Sheltering oneself from sharing their heart, their soul, their dreams, their passions, their life with another only causes pain, in the long run. We're made for relationship. It's innate within us. And to deny that fact is absurd and absolutely detrimental to our overall wellbeing. We were created to love God and to love one another. Period. That's our deepest need and our highest calling. Denying this need, this calling, is practically, denying one's very existence.
 
"Opening up doesn’t mean burdening someone with your struggles and problems. But, rather, it means not hiding the incredible beauty of your soul...  true love is found in listening to another person, and in turn opening up to them. Allowing yourself to share your heart with another broken human being." Please don't let the opportunity to love and be loved ever pass by. Because I can guarantee that the risk is worth it, everytime.

Dear readers, I leave you with this: You are cherished. You are genuinely cared for and pursued. You are valued. You are precious to the Most High (and to me). You are beautiful in your brokenness. You are remarkable despite the efforts to hide. You are wonderfully made and your vulnerability is the key to your freedom.
 
You, yes, YOU - are LOVED!
 
Period.
 
No strings attached. No proving needed. No striving necessary.



"I. Love. You."

What do you stand for?

I did it. Finally. I made myself go into the hills, turn off my cell phone, and go on a date with the Lord. It'd been QUITE some time since I've had the opportunity to do so and man was it incredible. I left last Sunday morning somewhat expecting nothing to be resolved. Oh ye of little faith...

Needless to say, I answered the questions from my previous post and thought I'd share some of my musings.

What do you stand for/value?
Father. Son. Spirit.
Others.
Family.
Love.

Grace.

Forgiveness.

Truth.
Freedom.
Generosity.
Hospitality.
Prayer.
Serving others.
Encouragement.
Compassion.
Travel.
Adventure.
Relationship/Friendship.

What do you love?
Jesus.
People.
Outside.
Cooking.
Baking.
Writing.
Hosting parties.
Caring for others.
Road Tripping.
Coffee dates.
Pictures.
Music.
Planning.
Dreaming.
Good conversation.
Random drives.
Running/Fitness.
Hiking.
Biking.
Camping.
Weekend getaways.
Dancing.
Teaching/Training.
Community.
Meeting new people.
Deeply knowing those I love.
Sunsets.
The Beach.
The Stars.

Who are you? 
I'm Brittany, but those who know me best know that Tany is a better descriptor of me. I'm a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend. An adventurer, "health nut", risk taker, and a little girl at heart. I am introspective, yet extroverted. I love others. I value sharing life and communing with them. I love to laugh and smile; joy is the essence of my heart. I love nature and escaping from the busyness of the everyday. I am a planner who can go with the flow. I'm a creature of habit who loves to try new things. I am a dreamer, a goal setter and achiever. I am a thinker of ways I can invest in and love others better. I take note of the things those I love value and cherish. I am willing to do whatever it takes to let those I love know they're loved. I want to look back on my life and know that I loved my God and those He placed in my life well. I want to bless others in crazy ways both relationally and financially. My home will always be one with an "open door" policy where all are welcome and deeply cared for. I want to be remembered as a joy filled, love giving, generous, caring, patient, gentle, kind, compassionate woman of God. I want to walk out Proverbs 31 and leave a legacy for generations to come.

The best part of the day? Re-learning, or better yet, realizing once again that I am loved. Period. No strings attached. There is nothing I can do to change it. My sweet Jesus' loves me. I don't have to prove myself to Him. I don't have to go through man-made hoops to receive this love. It's unconditional. And nothing will ever change that. What a sweet gift to this undeserving girl.

Values, Passions, and Love

What do I value?
What do I stand for?
What makes me, me?
What do I love?
Why do I love it?
What's my passion?
What fits YOU best, not everyone else, but YOU?

A great question that I've been pondering as of late is: What are your beliefs and what are you friends/family's? I've found, far too often, that I'm put in the same camp of opinions and beliefs as my friends and family, when in reality, we are two very different people. Just because I may nod and say "yes" or "okay" doesn't mean I'm in agreement, it means I'm acknowleding your stance. It seems as I look at my life that I've become a bit of a chameleon to what everyone else thinks (and I've been struggling with this for years as my previous posts would suggest). The second I disagree with someone on something, suddenly I'm thrown into this self beating because "oh my gosh, if so and so knew you didn't value that, they'd hate you!". But then I sit back and go... "okay, who's voice is that?" A true friend will love me regardless of our differences and will respect and value the very things you value because you've taken a stand to value those very things. Thus it's VITAL to differentiate between what I believe and what are the opinions and voices of others speaking for me.

It seems that life is at yet another crossroads. Seems they come all too often. But choices need to be made, values addressed, and a new path made to walk down. As I sit each day pondering the options, I find myself overwhelmed with everyone else's voice BUT my Father's. A Sabatical is needed... time out and away from the "busyness" that is this life. Technology distracts me and takes my time far too often. People too, though I LOVE my time with them. And I need to get away and be swept away by the One and Only so that I can clearly, freely, navigate all these questions with Him. And it starts this weekend!

I'm finding myself motivated by a phrase I've seen circulating as of late: "This is your life. Do what you love and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. Start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing. Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people. Share your dreams. Travel often. Some opportunities only come once - SEIZE THEM. Live your dreams and wear your passion."

This could also go right alongside the encouragement of the Lord to find my identity in Him and Him alone. Taking the risks and walking in courage and boldness as He leads me through each trial, blessing, difficulty, and joy in my life.

What a gift His grace is. What a blessing His peace. And Lord, have mercy, give insight, lead me in the direction. May I have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand as I embark on answering these questions. Meet me in the desert... speak to me there. Let's finally get some clarity on all these questions. Make me the woman you want me to be, though I may come across counter-cultural. Let me finally see me and be fully free to be me.

Good vs. evil and how God is good. Period

As of late, I've had some great conversations with friends on all things God, good vs. evil, and how God could be 'good'. The following I wrote in response...

Why would a 'Good' God can allow such chaos, hurt, and tortures happen in this world? This is a great question. And I stand by my statement that God is good, infinitely good, and cannot do bad or evil. He's the epitome, the perfect "good".


Now, let's dive into this a bit... The questions of: why doesn't God stop evil/the bad? Why doesn't God care or help? Are very valid given the atrocities that plague our world today and in generations past. We can look at the horrors of the Holocaust and say, 'surely there is no God, or if there is, he doesn't care'. Same with all that goes on in the middle east and countries at war in africa of today.

Augustine once said 'if there is no God, why is there so much good in the world? If there is a God, why is there so much evil?'

Touche. We can't really have good and evil sans God. We can't have right and wrong. We can't have ethics and morals. The very basis of our cultures and how we interact with one another are based on something or someone laying down the 'guidelines' of life, if you will. You know... Don't murder. Be kind to one another. Etc. If you do don't follow those inherant 'standards' that nearly every human on the planet has, then remorse, regret, guilt, shame, etc rise to the surface. Even down to our emotional responses to things point back to some type of God head that made the response in the 1st place.

If we assume there's evil, bad, horrors in the world, by recognizing that it exists we're assuming there's an objective standard on which it's based. Otherwise every one of us can do whatever they see fit and thus there's no need for order, law, government, leadership, or even corporate hierarchy. If there's no standard for evil, there's no standard for any order in the universe.

Riddle me this (and I'm going on a bit of a tangent here), but if there is no creator, no moment of creation, and everything is straight up evolution and we've been around for so many billions of years, shouldn't there have been enough time gone by now for everything to be made perfect and for evil to have disappeared? I mean, think about that for a second. Shouldn't we be constantly becoming better based on survival of the fittest? But history tells us otherwise. And even the chaos of the world today tells us we're certainly not getting closer to perfection or lacking in the 'bad', I'd dare to say we're getting worse...
And free will? Once God chose to create human beings with free will, it was up to them (up to us), rather than God, as to whether there was sin or not (and thus evil being introduced into the world via sin). That's what free will means. The source of evil is not God's power, but mankind's freedom. We're, unfortunately, the one's who messed up. The overwhelming majority of the pain in the world is caused by our choices to kill, to slander, to be selfish, to break our promises, to stray from truth, or to be reckless. To prevent all evil you must remove all freedom and reduce people to puppets, which means they would lack the ability to freely choose love. Or hate for that matter.

I think I'll wrap this up with this idea: God the Father. Consider for a moment how parents work. A good parent won't always do everything for their child. They won't do their child's homework. They won't tie their kids shoes. They won't do their laundry when they get to a certain age. Are all of these to somehow punish the child or be mean? No. I would say these are signs of a loving parent. If we coddle our children for our whole lives they'll grow up not knowing how to be responsible, or they won't learn in the process. Is it hard not to do everything for your kids? Absolutely. But it would be detrimental to their own good if we did. So it is with God. Does He like suffering? Does He want His children to hurt? Surely not. But if He didn't let us live our lives and learn through and grow through the sufferings, we may very well not be able to fully function at our full, God given, potential. God doesn't allow suffering to punish us or hurt us, he allows suffering to train us and equip us to be better humans. Suffering produces perseverance, hope, trust.... And honestly, if our heart is open to it, the suffering and humility that comes within us produces a unexplainable love and care. We learn from our mistakes. We learn from our sufferings and difficulties.

God seems to have a hiddenness (word?) about Him. There are clues we can follow to find Him or experience Him. Maybe those little nudges we feel deep down within that make us go, 'maybe. No. It can't be... But maybe....' Are one of those very 'clues' that God gives us along the way. If God were to give us constant, absolute proof that He exists then we could no more deny God than we could deny the sun is in the sky. However, God, being the gracious God He is isn't in the business of coercing people into believing in Him. No, He gives us our choice, our free will, to do with the evidence or the clues, what we'd like. But He does say 'seek and you shall find'. He's not far away and unapproachable. He's very near. And given the pursuit of Him, in that, He reveals Himself to the one seeking.

I Believe

As of late, I've been challenged greatly to think about why I believe and value the things that I do. Why I hold so closely my relationship with the Lord and my Christian Faith. Well... to many, it's not going to make much sense. I may be seen as "weird" or 'crazy" for believing in something that I cannot physically see or tangibly touch, but I still experience just the same. So here we go...

I believe in God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The trinity. The 3 in 1. That each is made uniquely, yet knit togetherin 1. Each with their own role in the lives of God's children.

I believe that Jesus Christ was God made flesh to walk this earth and experience life as we experience it. I believe that He died for our sins, that we may be forgiven and given life forever with Him. I believe He's our comforter in times of need and our strength in times of weakness.

I believe in the power of prayer to change circumstances.

I believe words are powerful and we should choose them wisely; with them we have the ability to build up or condemn.

I believe in the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who accept Christ. I believe that the Spirit goes to work for us, intercedes for us, challenges us, convicts us, and gives direction and clarity in life.

I believe the Bible is the inspired, infallable Word of God that has not only backing from the history of 2 other religions (except for the New Testament), but also historical confirmation of the happenings recorded as true.

I believe in the Peace of God that transcends all understanding. A peace that cannot be described, which makes what I once worried about seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Whether it's meeting someone for 5 minutes and never seeing them again, or choosing a different route home only to find you're spared from some horrific scene. There are no coincidences...

I believe I have the power to change things in life by prayer and petition. I believe that if I ask, I will receive and be met in my deepest times of need.

I believe in a God who looks at the "impossibilities" of life and goes "It's possible".

I believe in a miracle performing, life giving Creator who loves deeply.

I believe love is the answer to everything. Love God. Love others. And the rest falls into place.

I believe God's hand has been a constant in my life. Whether it was in the midst of the chaos of my dad's accident and recovery, my brother's disappearing, my mom's life threatening health problems, or in my own heartaches and loneliness.

I believe my faith has turned to a relationship with the One and Only. Not just a belief system, but a personal, tangible 2-way relationship where I chat with Him and He speaks ever so gently to me. His reminders, His love, His provision is found in the simplicity of the everyday, the beauty of a sunset, or the promise He gave with silly pink flower.

I believe He loves us. Oh how HE loves US! With such gusto, with such grace, with such mercy and gentleness. I know His presence, I know the comfort of His arms, I know the peace that is only found in Him. And it's unexplainably wonderful, wrecklessly abandoned, undeservingly sweet.

And why do I believe in all of this? Because it's been proven to me over and over in my own life. Because I've had tangible, real experiences that have proven to me the credibility and reality of it all. Because I've met with the One and Only in a way not many experience... and His grace is sufficient. Because I've been a witness to His miracles; His hand has turned around many devastating moments in my life. Because I've seen the healing He brings not only to the weary soul or the broken heart, but even to the physical body. I've seen, I've heard, my heart has understood Him in His works. His unseen glory is where my faith and trust kick in... trusting the promptings of my spirit and His spirit at work in me to speak and bring truth in my life.

I guess what all of this boils down to is this: I'm in love with my Savior, my sweet Jesus. And to the outside world I may look a fool. I may seem ridiculous. But the beauty of His majesty has invaded my soul and taken me from the insecurity of this world to His unfailing arms. When all else fails, He remains. When everything is a mess around me, He's the only clarity I have. When circumstances and people disappoint, He is my strength and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.

He's made me who I am today. And without him I would be nothing. I don't even know if I'd be here today if it weren't for His loving kindness and His merciful grace that sees beyond the mess to the heart of a woman who wants nothing more than Him.

He's my one true love. I get lost in His presence. I find peace and rest in Him. I meet him in the great outdoors and even in the everyday chores. He whispers in the wind. He reveals His care in the love of dear friends. He knows my needs and provides in miraculous ways that can only come from Him. He romances me with his goodness and beckons me to His side. He's my everything....

Tears.

Lots of them.

All because Grace has found me... and His love quenches the deep thirst of the soul to be known and loved.


True Love:

Come close listen to the story

About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died
Now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive

Oh, He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died


Come close listen to the story

True Love - Phil Wickham

Instead of a Show

I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show

Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show

your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands

you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands

Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around

give love to the ones who can’t love at all
give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
instead of a show
I hate all your show


Now that's one heavy song! But SO true!

Songs of the moment....

There's just something about this song that gets my heart everytime... give it a listen. LOVE Michael Ketterer. Oh. My. Word. GOOD stuff!

Dusty Road

And this one too...

Grace like Rain