Passion and Purity

Elizabeth Elliot's "Passion and Purity" is the most recent book to be placed on my "finished" bookshelf. Talk about a tear jerker and a heart changer - this book has revolutionized the way I look at all things relationship, not only with men but also with Christ. Elizabeth shares the story of her late husband, Jim, and her courtship and eventual marriage (after 5 years of periods of separation, silence, waiting, and finally answered prayers). It seems so foreign to me for someone to wait 5 years for a man to finally figure out that the woman looking him in the eye is his wife. But the reality is Jim was called to the mission field and felt that the Lord had called him to a life of singleness so that he could focus his time solely on Christ. But little did Jim know that God had different plans for him, in the person of Elizabeth - a woman well suited for the life ahead with Jim.

As the book ends it leaves the reader with quite a few statements that rocked my world, one of which said, "Do our transgressions disqualify us for the Christian life? Quite the contrary. Jesus came into the world specifically for us who blew it, not for those who 'need no repentance.' He was wounded for our trangressions..."

This passage brought me to tears as I looked back on my own tainted past of impurtity. For years I've felt that my past transgressions were beyond the grace of God - that I somehow destroyed His love for me based on my mistakes. However, one of my dear friends reminded me recently, "we have such a tendency to think God is some mean, controlling Father that doesn't want to bless His children, when quite the opposite is true."

A simple reminder, but so difficult to set into our hearts. I don't understand how I can keep messing up and still have God stand beside me with open arms saying, "I forgive you. I love you, now let's move on." Moving on and letting go is so difficult, yet so incredibly freeing. Realizing that I can't change the decisions I've made and knowing that yes, I've hurt not only myself, but my future husband, strikes me to my core. But God's grace is big enough to redeem even the slimiest of situations -

"my grace is sufficient"

"even though I'm not pure?"

"my grace is sufficient"

"even though I've hurt people?"

"my grace is sufficient"

"Even though I often hate myself for what I've done?"

"My grace is sufficient for EVERYTHING - regardless of who you are or what you've done. My grace is sufficient for it all. Trust me - I love you."

Another section of the book talks about boundaries in relationship. What amazed me the most was the tender honesty of Jim and Elizabeth throughout their relationship. They steered clear of everything physical, even a hug was deemed "difficult" at times. They spent 5 years, rarely seeing other, writing letters, and when they did run into each other there was no physical contact- no hand holding, no kissing, rarely a hug. "Are they for real?" we ask. But in all honesty, I think they had it right on.

In my own experience, I can wholeheartedly say that being physical with someone only causes heartache. And the more physical we are with someone, the deeper the bond, and the more it hurts in the end. We go through the stages of "why did I do that?" or "how could I let this happen again?" to beating ourselves up over our mistakes. And again we're reminded, "my grace is sufficient for you."

"If virginity is to be preserved, lines must be drawn. Why put yourself in any situation where the lines may become smudged or obscure? Why take the risks? Why accept the pressure of tremendous temptation when you can easily avoid it by refusing to be anywhere where compromise is possible?"

Call me old fashioned, but I 100% agree. Draw the lines and stick to them. WAY easier said that done - but totally worth overcoming the temptation and completely worth the wait. It's in this statement that I see the reflection of Romans 7 so vividly: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." And the reminder in Romans 8 of our bodies being living sacrifices - living temples of the Holy Spirit that we shouldn't contaminate but be used to glorify God. It's for this reason, and many others, that new lines have been drawn... strict lines. Will it be easy? No. But that's where God's protection and grace comes into play - Inviting Him into the relationship even before it begins.

So I leave you, dear readers with 2 things:

Purity = freedom from contamination, from anything that would spoil the taste or the pleasure, reduce the power, or in any way adulterate what the thing was meant to be. It means cleannes, clearness, no additives, nothing artificial - all natural.

"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things avove it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all... in fact the state of being in love usually does not last... but of course ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love... is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforcced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God. Being 'in love' first moved them to promise fidelity; this quieter love enables them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Chrisitianity

Love, therefore, is a choice...