Longings...

Argh! Life sometimes... lots of revelations this week. Here we go...

What I long for, what I desire is not found on the pages of Vogue or Cosmo. No, what I need more than anything in this world is companionship. I’m not talking about the companionship of friends or even that a boyfriend. No, the companionship I long for is more fulfilling and fruitful than what is found in the faces of those I pass on a daily basis. The companionship I dream of is deep, intimate knowledge that only comes from time and trust. The companionship I desire may not even be possible this side of heaven – it’s a companionship of being fully known and overwhelmed with fullness – to the point of bursting.

The trouble is, this companionship is utterly unattainable, nearly meaningless. Because the everyday problems of fame, money, sex, addiction, pain, loss, job, family, friends, drama, and everything in between prevent our forward movement towards all encompassing companionship. The road blocks, the hurdles of today are what stand in our way of fulfilling this desire. And the truth of the matter is: our attention is quickly diverted by the seen, while the unseen sits patiently waiting, wanting the all fulfilling relationship. Until we give up the earthly distractions, the sins that so easily invade our lives, we’re unable to experience the incredible joy, love, and deep friendship of a Savior who so often seems so far, but is really right beside us every step of every moment of everyday.

And understanding finally falls on the words of King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiates. We can gain the whole world but forfeit our souls in a matter of seconds in comparison to the grand scheme of eternity. “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless”. Now I know what he means, for though I could have whatever I desired if I worked hard enough, I don’t want any of it. Yes, I get ahead of myself on many occasions and get overly excited for something, but the second I finally get that something I’ve longed for there’s something else, something bigger and better, which distracts me from the gift already given. Constantly searching for the next best thing, I realize now that there is never going to be a “next best thing” on this earth. There’s going to be disappointment in the things, and frustration at the loss of relationship because of them along the way.

Does this mean we give up everything we have to gain a deeper, fulfilling relationship with the only Perfect Love? No. But it does mean that we get our priorities straight. It means seeing a need in someone else’s life and fulfilling it. It means giving up the addictions, the cults, the fame, the drama, the obsession with celebrities, and even the distraction of friends/family. An overflowing, all consuming relationship requires that the things of the world not take precedence over companionship. It’s a choice; freely given for us to decide.

So what will it be? Sacrificing a little here and there for overflowing, rich relationship, or giving every part of your being to the things that will never satisfy? And how do we even begin changing?

Hmmm....