You know the funny thing about Christianity is that we think we have it all figured out and that if everyone plays by our rules and our standards, then hey – they're a part of the ultra exclusive, Christianity Country Club. But the problem is , the religious – hoity toity – stick up their butt individuals (who make up their own rules instead of living by God's) make the true, heartfelt, Jesus loving, Christians look just like their soap box selves. And often times the judgment and persecution that Christians today face comes directly from one “Christian” to the other. We’re literally waging war against ourselves. Why is it that we have so many different denominations? Because we can’t seem to agree and we can’t seem to come together on the equal ground that Christ is Lord and that’s all that matters. No, our pride gets in the way, and we start throwing out lies and blasphemes against one another so that we may look somehow better than the rest. Want to know the truth? We’re no better than the Pharisees in the story of Zacchaeus (Luke 19), when Jesus requests to go to this man’s house to eat with him, start a friendship, discuss life and it’s challenges. And we know the Pharisee's response all too well, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner”
And so I ask… if we’re here to seek and save the lost, if our one mission on this earth is love other’s as Christ has loved the Church, then how are we supposed to do that if we're completely segregating ourselves from the unbelievers, the “sinners” of society? Because I have news friends, every single one of us was once a sinner. That’s right… at one point you too were a sinner! How DARE you judge, despise, and separate yourself from loving those God has placed in your life? Why do you find it appropriate to place yourself on your own little pedastool of perfection, while watching those who so need the love and grace of a God of mercy perish?
Matt Chandler had a great piece of insight that totally rocked my world recently… “the more you engage the lost world, the more religious people will grumble. Please tune them out.” The sad fact is that I see this everywhere I turn. And I find myself falling into these traps when I surround myself by the “religious” of this world. What do we have to gain by giving up everything to discriminate those who don’t know Christ? Absolutely nothing, except judgment from The Eternal. And the Pharisees are the people Paul Speaks of in 2 Cor. Chapter 10:12, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves – they’re not wise!”
When we place ourselves on our own little christian idealism of perfection, and not on Christ's standard alone, we fall prey to the lies of the evil one. He uses anything to get to us, especially our own pride and fear. So beware when you find yourself tuning out those around you because of some superiority complex. For you never know who's life you'll touch just by a kind word or a smile. Look at every person you see as an opportunity to shine light, love, and eternity. You won't regret it... for you may be the only Jesus someone ever sees. Make a good impression!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Longings...
Argh! Life sometimes... lots of revelations this week. Here we go...
What I long for, what I desire is not found on the pages of Vogue or Cosmo. No, what I need more than anything in this world is companionship. I’m not talking about the companionship of friends or even that a boyfriend. No, the companionship I long for is more fulfilling and fruitful than what is found in the faces of those I pass on a daily basis. The companionship I dream of is deep, intimate knowledge that only comes from time and trust. The companionship I desire may not even be possible this side of heaven – it’s a companionship of being fully known and overwhelmed with fullness – to the point of bursting.
The trouble is, this companionship is utterly unattainable, nearly meaningless. Because the everyday problems of fame, money, sex, addiction, pain, loss, job, family, friends, drama, and everything in between prevent our forward movement towards all encompassing companionship. The road blocks, the hurdles of today are what stand in our way of fulfilling this desire. And the truth of the matter is: our attention is quickly diverted by the seen, while the unseen sits patiently waiting, wanting the all fulfilling relationship. Until we give up the earthly distractions, the sins that so easily invade our lives, we’re unable to experience the incredible joy, love, and deep friendship of a Savior who so often seems so far, but is really right beside us every step of every moment of everyday.
And understanding finally falls on the words of King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiates. We can gain the whole world but forfeit our souls in a matter of seconds in comparison to the grand scheme of eternity. “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless”. Now I know what he means, for though I could have whatever I desired if I worked hard enough, I don’t want any of it. Yes, I get ahead of myself on many occasions and get overly excited for something, but the second I finally get that something I’ve longed for there’s something else, something bigger and better, which distracts me from the gift already given. Constantly searching for the next best thing, I realize now that there is never going to be a “next best thing” on this earth. There’s going to be disappointment in the things, and frustration at the loss of relationship because of them along the way.
Does this mean we give up everything we have to gain a deeper, fulfilling relationship with the only Perfect Love? No. But it does mean that we get our priorities straight. It means seeing a need in someone else’s life and fulfilling it. It means giving up the addictions, the cults, the fame, the drama, the obsession with celebrities, and even the distraction of friends/family. An overflowing, all consuming relationship requires that the things of the world not take precedence over companionship. It’s a choice; freely given for us to decide.
So what will it be? Sacrificing a little here and there for overflowing, rich relationship, or giving every part of your being to the things that will never satisfy? And how do we even begin changing?
Hmmm....
What I long for, what I desire is not found on the pages of Vogue or Cosmo. No, what I need more than anything in this world is companionship. I’m not talking about the companionship of friends or even that a boyfriend. No, the companionship I long for is more fulfilling and fruitful than what is found in the faces of those I pass on a daily basis. The companionship I dream of is deep, intimate knowledge that only comes from time and trust. The companionship I desire may not even be possible this side of heaven – it’s a companionship of being fully known and overwhelmed with fullness – to the point of bursting.
The trouble is, this companionship is utterly unattainable, nearly meaningless. Because the everyday problems of fame, money, sex, addiction, pain, loss, job, family, friends, drama, and everything in between prevent our forward movement towards all encompassing companionship. The road blocks, the hurdles of today are what stand in our way of fulfilling this desire. And the truth of the matter is: our attention is quickly diverted by the seen, while the unseen sits patiently waiting, wanting the all fulfilling relationship. Until we give up the earthly distractions, the sins that so easily invade our lives, we’re unable to experience the incredible joy, love, and deep friendship of a Savior who so often seems so far, but is really right beside us every step of every moment of everyday.
And understanding finally falls on the words of King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiates. We can gain the whole world but forfeit our souls in a matter of seconds in comparison to the grand scheme of eternity. “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless”. Now I know what he means, for though I could have whatever I desired if I worked hard enough, I don’t want any of it. Yes, I get ahead of myself on many occasions and get overly excited for something, but the second I finally get that something I’ve longed for there’s something else, something bigger and better, which distracts me from the gift already given. Constantly searching for the next best thing, I realize now that there is never going to be a “next best thing” on this earth. There’s going to be disappointment in the things, and frustration at the loss of relationship because of them along the way.
Does this mean we give up everything we have to gain a deeper, fulfilling relationship with the only Perfect Love? No. But it does mean that we get our priorities straight. It means seeing a need in someone else’s life and fulfilling it. It means giving up the addictions, the cults, the fame, the drama, the obsession with celebrities, and even the distraction of friends/family. An overflowing, all consuming relationship requires that the things of the world not take precedence over companionship. It’s a choice; freely given for us to decide.
So what will it be? Sacrificing a little here and there for overflowing, rich relationship, or giving every part of your being to the things that will never satisfy? And how do we even begin changing?
Hmmm....
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Living Ecclesiastically
What do you have to celebrate today? What is something you’re grateful for, that you can rejoice in? What, in life, keeps you going day by day? And how often to you sit back and just enjoy life for what it is?
I’ve realized a few things in the past week or so (since I turned the ripe old age of 24) that I never really took the time to think about before. For much of my life I’ve been “too busy” for just about everything. I guess that’s what a girl's life becomes when she’s worked since the age of 13, and has rarely had the time or the money to really go and experience many adventures. As I sat in LA on my birthday this year, it hit me, “I’ve been wasting my life, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, worried about everything under the sun – and what do I have to show for it? Wrinkles, stress, and a body that’s practically falling apart at 24.” As I continued pondering this dilemma on the plane home from my favorite sunny place in the US, I was hit with a ton of bricks: I haven’t been living my life! I’ve been slowly, grudgingly dragging through it. I decided, this year is going to be a different story – no more “too busy” or “too over committed” for anything. Prioritizing the important, the things that last, the memories, has become my goal. And Ecclesiastes has knocked my socks off...
The book of Ecclesiastes is one of the most depressing books in the Bible, at least for me. However, recently I’ve read it with a whole new light, thanks to the insight brought by Matt Chandler at The Village Church. Conviction swept over me as I realized that so much of my own life feels so incredibly “meaningless”. There seems to be no direction, no reason for my existence. I’ve become dissatisfied with my everyday, boring life, and have craved some kind of new adventure ever since the “daily grind” started. The thing I didn’t realize is that no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, there’s going to be some slight sense of “everyday”. No matter how many quotes I do at work, or how many loads of laundry I do at home, or how many meetings, practices, coffee dates, etc. I have - there’s still going to be another one tomorrow, another month, another year. “Everything is meaningless!” to quote the great King Solomon. And I'm stuck with my thoughts...
Realization #1: Life sucks sometimes – deal with it! Wow, talk about a Debbie Downer moment – but it’s true, right? Life has a tendency to throw us some curve balls every now and then that leave us thinking, “what the heck was that?!”. On the positive side, every bad situation that comes our way, usually leads to something good in the end. When the pains and frustrations of life come our way... what are our options? Well, we could just sit around, moping about how sad and stupid our lives are, or we could…
Realization #2: God gives us others for a reason. There’s this verse in Ecclesiastes that says, “Eat, drink, and be merry”. Let me clarify that this does not mean get drunk and party all the time. No, this is something deeper, more fulfilling, and utterly delightful. This verse is pretty much telling us to go out with friends, have dinner together, do coffee, bake, have movie nights, meet for Bible Study, whatever you do in life – share it with friends. For at the end of a long, tedius, frustrating week isn’t it an incredible blessing to be able to meet up with someone wonderful for Happy Hour, or have a movie night with someone near and dear?
And I say… it’s time to start living our lives Ecclesiastically! Not in the mode of being too busy for friendship, too overwhelmed for relationship with others; no – what we need to do is start planning more outings, scheduling more dates, and really getting to know those around us. For we get to take the memories and the friendships with us when we leave this world… but everything else (the house, the money, the cars, the techy toys, the designer fashions) all get to stay here. He with the most toys still dies with nothing.
So as I enter into my 24th year of life, not quite where I expected I’d be, but on my way to something incredible, it’s time for me to start living my own life Ecclesiastically. Living for the memories and the friendships, and not worrying so much about the stresses of the everyday. No, I choose today to go to the Pumpkin Patch (because I’ve always wanted to and never had “time), invite friends over for dinner/brunch/coffee/whatever, meet with new people and really try to connect with them, live up the Holidays for everything they are (I’m talking Nutcrackering, gingerbread house making, decorating up a storm, Christmas cookie delivery service, giving to those in need, and remembering the Reason for the Season daily), and truly making the 24th year of life the brightest, richest, most edifying year of my life.
24 – here I come! :-)
I’ve realized a few things in the past week or so (since I turned the ripe old age of 24) that I never really took the time to think about before. For much of my life I’ve been “too busy” for just about everything. I guess that’s what a girl's life becomes when she’s worked since the age of 13, and has rarely had the time or the money to really go and experience many adventures. As I sat in LA on my birthday this year, it hit me, “I’ve been wasting my life, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, worried about everything under the sun – and what do I have to show for it? Wrinkles, stress, and a body that’s practically falling apart at 24.” As I continued pondering this dilemma on the plane home from my favorite sunny place in the US, I was hit with a ton of bricks: I haven’t been living my life! I’ve been slowly, grudgingly dragging through it. I decided, this year is going to be a different story – no more “too busy” or “too over committed” for anything. Prioritizing the important, the things that last, the memories, has become my goal. And Ecclesiastes has knocked my socks off...
The book of Ecclesiastes is one of the most depressing books in the Bible, at least for me. However, recently I’ve read it with a whole new light, thanks to the insight brought by Matt Chandler at The Village Church. Conviction swept over me as I realized that so much of my own life feels so incredibly “meaningless”. There seems to be no direction, no reason for my existence. I’ve become dissatisfied with my everyday, boring life, and have craved some kind of new adventure ever since the “daily grind” started. The thing I didn’t realize is that no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, there’s going to be some slight sense of “everyday”. No matter how many quotes I do at work, or how many loads of laundry I do at home, or how many meetings, practices, coffee dates, etc. I have - there’s still going to be another one tomorrow, another month, another year. “Everything is meaningless!” to quote the great King Solomon. And I'm stuck with my thoughts...
Realization #1: Life sucks sometimes – deal with it! Wow, talk about a Debbie Downer moment – but it’s true, right? Life has a tendency to throw us some curve balls every now and then that leave us thinking, “what the heck was that?!”. On the positive side, every bad situation that comes our way, usually leads to something good in the end. When the pains and frustrations of life come our way... what are our options? Well, we could just sit around, moping about how sad and stupid our lives are, or we could…
Realization #2: God gives us others for a reason. There’s this verse in Ecclesiastes that says, “Eat, drink, and be merry”. Let me clarify that this does not mean get drunk and party all the time. No, this is something deeper, more fulfilling, and utterly delightful. This verse is pretty much telling us to go out with friends, have dinner together, do coffee, bake, have movie nights, meet for Bible Study, whatever you do in life – share it with friends. For at the end of a long, tedius, frustrating week isn’t it an incredible blessing to be able to meet up with someone wonderful for Happy Hour, or have a movie night with someone near and dear?
And I say… it’s time to start living our lives Ecclesiastically! Not in the mode of being too busy for friendship, too overwhelmed for relationship with others; no – what we need to do is start planning more outings, scheduling more dates, and really getting to know those around us. For we get to take the memories and the friendships with us when we leave this world… but everything else (the house, the money, the cars, the techy toys, the designer fashions) all get to stay here. He with the most toys still dies with nothing.
So as I enter into my 24th year of life, not quite where I expected I’d be, but on my way to something incredible, it’s time for me to start living my own life Ecclesiastically. Living for the memories and the friendships, and not worrying so much about the stresses of the everyday. No, I choose today to go to the Pumpkin Patch (because I’ve always wanted to and never had “time), invite friends over for dinner/brunch/coffee/whatever, meet with new people and really try to connect with them, live up the Holidays for everything they are (I’m talking Nutcrackering, gingerbread house making, decorating up a storm, Christmas cookie delivery service, giving to those in need, and remembering the Reason for the Season daily), and truly making the 24th year of life the brightest, richest, most edifying year of my life.
24 – here I come! :-)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Take Action - Now, not later
Sometimes it's amazing to me how much overlap there is within the gospels, and how as I read Matthew I seem to overlook something, but it becomes so much more real as I make my way through the book of Luke. As I've been reading Luke I've been shocked at the amount of times that Christ is in the middle of speaking and somehow a miracle happens. Or how he's helping one person while healing another.
Today as I read Luke 24 it hit me again - the incredible ability of a God that's bigger than my finite mind can fathom. In the end of the chapter it describes Christ ascending into heaven, but one verse that caught my attention big time was verse 51 where it says, "While he was still blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven."
And I realized something rather intriguing... being a Christian is about action. So often throughout the gospels we see Christ acting to save a life, restoring health, and speaking truth into the lives of those around Him. It's true in the story of the woman who was subject to bleeding for over 20 years - when Christ was healing one person, He was also healing this woman and he "felt power go out of Him".
How do we ever expect to be the change in the world if we don't act? What are the burdens that God has laid on our hearts that we keep pushing to the side? And why, oh why, can't we act when we're told to - stepping out in faith?
And I realized... so many people today wander around life with conviction on their hearts and the mindset of “I’ll get to it later”. The underlying question here is why not get to it NOW? Why not make the choice to change today? What are is preventing us from action?
As we see in Luke 24, Christ was, and always will be about action. Even though He does not walk with us on the earth any longer, He now lives in us - thus requiring us to take action for Him. We're called to be His hands and His feet while on this planet. The fear that overwhelms us is only holding us back from our true potential through Christ. So I encourage you today- listen to what actions Christ asks you to take and go after them without a moment's hesitation. Don't analyze and push the burdens laid on your heart to the side any longer - step out in faith believing that something will happen through those circumstances.
Action takes faith. Action takes trust. Action is not for the faint of heart. So what's it going to be?
Today as I read Luke 24 it hit me again - the incredible ability of a God that's bigger than my finite mind can fathom. In the end of the chapter it describes Christ ascending into heaven, but one verse that caught my attention big time was verse 51 where it says, "While he was still blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven."
And I realized something rather intriguing... being a Christian is about action. So often throughout the gospels we see Christ acting to save a life, restoring health, and speaking truth into the lives of those around Him. It's true in the story of the woman who was subject to bleeding for over 20 years - when Christ was healing one person, He was also healing this woman and he "felt power go out of Him".
How do we ever expect to be the change in the world if we don't act? What are the burdens that God has laid on our hearts that we keep pushing to the side? And why, oh why, can't we act when we're told to - stepping out in faith?
And I realized... so many people today wander around life with conviction on their hearts and the mindset of “I’ll get to it later”. The underlying question here is why not get to it NOW? Why not make the choice to change today? What are is preventing us from action?
As we see in Luke 24, Christ was, and always will be about action. Even though He does not walk with us on the earth any longer, He now lives in us - thus requiring us to take action for Him. We're called to be His hands and His feet while on this planet. The fear that overwhelms us is only holding us back from our true potential through Christ. So I encourage you today- listen to what actions Christ asks you to take and go after them without a moment's hesitation. Don't analyze and push the burdens laid on your heart to the side any longer - step out in faith believing that something will happen through those circumstances.
Action takes faith. Action takes trust. Action is not for the faint of heart. So what's it going to be?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Life Inspired
While driving into work the past few days, I've been hit with a series of questions/desires that I just can't seem to get off my mind. The questions only got deeper as I went through my work day and listened to one of the recent sermon series at LifeChurch.tv. A guest speaker from Hillsong Church in Australia, literally shook me to my core, to the point where I feel like I can do nothing until I'm living the life that Christ has called me to.
The question that keeps arising is, "what am I doing here?" or "Am I doing what I know I'm called to be doing?" or "Is this the life I've always dreamed of/desired to have?". The answer has been a resounding "NO!". Every question that comes to mind lately is about me living in my "safety zone" and refusing to push myself to take a risk. And I'm frustrated daily with the fact that I doubt my ability to do the great things that have been laid on my heart. I hate the fact that I often don't believe that God is big enough to provide for me and get me to where He has called me to be. So I sit, lingering on life, thinking, "well, once this happens, then I'll go" or "when my prayers are answered I'll have the courage to risk.". I've realized that all my worrying about the future is only holding me back from taking the steps necessary to even have a future in the first place. The baby steps along the way are often the milestones of a life forever changed. I was reminded by a dear friend of mine that sometimes I need to just sit, wait, listen to the Lord, and work diligently towards what He's called me to -instead of planning everything and hoping it happens all at once one day.
Christine Caine, from Hillsong, said it best in her sermon at LifeChurch, "We often get too busy to stop and see what's staring us in the face." And that's what I see my life as... this constant rat race to get here or there, and filling my life with busyness instead of purpose. Stop and listen to what's going on around us- and we may be surprised at the opportunities that lie in our own life. We, as Christians, get ourselves so busy that we don't want to get involved in the needs of those around us because we're just too overwhelmed with the everyday. But I ask, what would Christ have us do? What did He do in His own life on this earth? He stopped... He listened... He cared for the needs of those around Him. His schedule was flexible - if He saw a need He took as much time as was necessary to fulfill it. No matter what the circumstances, even if it meant Christ staying up all night or walking for days - He gave His very life for the good of others, that they may be healed and uplifted.
The most incredible part of history that we should all learn from is that the Greatest People of Influence were not people who sat back and lived the "safe" life. Look at people like the Apostle Paul, Abraham Lincoln, Billy Graham, Ronald Reagan, C.S. Lewis - to name a few, people of ordinary position who decided to take life and make it extraordinary. Thus, World Changers are invariably Risk Takers. Pushing themselves beyond what's comfortable toward what shakes them to their core - what brings them alive - what keeps them awake at night because of the injustice. World Changers choose unwavering determination when fear so often grips them - actively pursuing great things, saved lives, and changed destiny's.
There's a choice to make - we can live the safe, predictable life with the 3 car garage home in the safe neighborhood, with the good schools, and the 1.5 children that we'll have, never really growing beyond what the social world deems "normal". OR, we can set out in determined faith to the life of adventure, danger, and opportunity. The enemy tells us that risk is scary, not not step out in faith but to sit back in crippling fear of failure. But the truth of the matter is that we can't live the safe life if we want to make a difference. So we have a choice to make...
Safety bubble or Risky Business?
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Eph. 2:10
"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." - Rom. 8:24-25
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT!" - Prov. 3:5-6
The question that keeps arising is, "what am I doing here?" or "Am I doing what I know I'm called to be doing?" or "Is this the life I've always dreamed of/desired to have?". The answer has been a resounding "NO!". Every question that comes to mind lately is about me living in my "safety zone" and refusing to push myself to take a risk. And I'm frustrated daily with the fact that I doubt my ability to do the great things that have been laid on my heart. I hate the fact that I often don't believe that God is big enough to provide for me and get me to where He has called me to be. So I sit, lingering on life, thinking, "well, once this happens, then I'll go" or "when my prayers are answered I'll have the courage to risk.". I've realized that all my worrying about the future is only holding me back from taking the steps necessary to even have a future in the first place. The baby steps along the way are often the milestones of a life forever changed. I was reminded by a dear friend of mine that sometimes I need to just sit, wait, listen to the Lord, and work diligently towards what He's called me to -instead of planning everything and hoping it happens all at once one day.
Christine Caine, from Hillsong, said it best in her sermon at LifeChurch, "We often get too busy to stop and see what's staring us in the face." And that's what I see my life as... this constant rat race to get here or there, and filling my life with busyness instead of purpose. Stop and listen to what's going on around us- and we may be surprised at the opportunities that lie in our own life. We, as Christians, get ourselves so busy that we don't want to get involved in the needs of those around us because we're just too overwhelmed with the everyday. But I ask, what would Christ have us do? What did He do in His own life on this earth? He stopped... He listened... He cared for the needs of those around Him. His schedule was flexible - if He saw a need He took as much time as was necessary to fulfill it. No matter what the circumstances, even if it meant Christ staying up all night or walking for days - He gave His very life for the good of others, that they may be healed and uplifted.
The most incredible part of history that we should all learn from is that the Greatest People of Influence were not people who sat back and lived the "safe" life. Look at people like the Apostle Paul, Abraham Lincoln, Billy Graham, Ronald Reagan, C.S. Lewis - to name a few, people of ordinary position who decided to take life and make it extraordinary. Thus, World Changers are invariably Risk Takers. Pushing themselves beyond what's comfortable toward what shakes them to their core - what brings them alive - what keeps them awake at night because of the injustice. World Changers choose unwavering determination when fear so often grips them - actively pursuing great things, saved lives, and changed destiny's.
There's a choice to make - we can live the safe, predictable life with the 3 car garage home in the safe neighborhood, with the good schools, and the 1.5 children that we'll have, never really growing beyond what the social world deems "normal". OR, we can set out in determined faith to the life of adventure, danger, and opportunity. The enemy tells us that risk is scary, not not step out in faith but to sit back in crippling fear of failure. But the truth of the matter is that we can't live the safe life if we want to make a difference. So we have a choice to make...
Safety bubble or Risky Business?
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Eph. 2:10
"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." - Rom. 8:24-25
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT!" - Prov. 3:5-6
Monday, August 31, 2009
Second Thoughts...
Over the weekend I was struck my something a pastor said at a Church I visited in California. The words were simple, yet hit me to my core - "stop merely existing and start living!". I began to look back at my life and the patterns of the everyday, and the fear that so easily entangles my life. And I realized - I'm afraid of change, I'm afraid of risk, and I'm afraid of relationship with others. The sad part of all of this is that I often find myself sabatoging situations and opportunities before I even have the chance to see what they could be. I hover in the "safe zone" just to keep the peace, instead of acting on what I believe my heart is calling me to do. This, quite simply, is something I hate about myself.
People pleasers, like me, often do things that just don't seem to make sense. Many of these little issues have come up again and again in my life, and I've started to ask myself, "am I making my decisions for me or for everyone else in my life?" The question arises because I find that too often I listen too much to the advice, or rather, opinions of my friends and family members - instead of going to Jesus first and asking myself second, what may be best for my life. The fear of having someone disappointed in me paralyzes me from taking the risks that I KNOW in my heart that I need to take. Whether it's in relationships, job situations, or even just up and moving out of my house and on my own - the fear of disappointing those that disagree with me prevents me from living the life I'm called to live.
And recently, I've been bombarded by second thoughts. Thinking about the reality of the decisions I've made and how many of them have been total mistakes, based on what other people wanted me to do instead of staying true to myself. Now seeing the choices I've made I'm SO incredibly frustrated with myself, because I've been living in a state of Limbo for 24 years - always doing what I don't want to do. There's a verse in Romans 7 that speaks to this: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Why does it matter so much to me what other people think? Why do I feel 'stuck' all the time? Why can't I just speak up and be honest about things?
Conviction.
I've been absolutely convicted of my people pleasing self - to the point where I've had to come clean with people on stories and, in essence, exaggerations that I've said about circumstances in my life that I've lied about in order to "keep the peace". Seriously?!? I know I hate confrontation, but I'm really disappointed in myself for allowing it to get this bad. It's a humbling experience to go to your closest friends and family members and say, "okay, so about that story, yeah... here's how it really went down." But do you want to know the greatest part about coming clean? It's absolutely freeing and it shows that I'm imperfect - simply a sinful human. And by the Grace of the Lord and the love of my friends and family they're able to sit by me and and encourage me to be me, not anyone else.
So here I am... with second thoughts... and I have a choice to make. Do I own up, and face the choices/mistakes I've made or do I go back into my caccoon of comfort and let the old me take over - never confronting, never admitting my faults? I'll go with Option A. It's time for me to step up and allow God to work through the circumstances in the way He wants. That probably means disappointing people, but it also could mean new opportunities of relationship, adventure, and just living life to the fullest. And who knows, maybe I've got a lot more growing and "being called out" to go through. But if that's what it takes to make me into the person I'm supposed to be, then bring it on!
And hopefully, after all the second thoughts, all the regrets, and all the mistakes - there may be some second chances along the way :-)
A few verses that have come to mind lately:
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grown tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Is. 40:29-31
"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." - Jer. 1:17
"Leave your country and your people,' God said, 'and go to the land I will show you." - Acts 7:3
It's time. It's time for me... to go so that I may grow.
People pleasers, like me, often do things that just don't seem to make sense. Many of these little issues have come up again and again in my life, and I've started to ask myself, "am I making my decisions for me or for everyone else in my life?" The question arises because I find that too often I listen too much to the advice, or rather, opinions of my friends and family members - instead of going to Jesus first and asking myself second, what may be best for my life. The fear of having someone disappointed in me paralyzes me from taking the risks that I KNOW in my heart that I need to take. Whether it's in relationships, job situations, or even just up and moving out of my house and on my own - the fear of disappointing those that disagree with me prevents me from living the life I'm called to live.
And recently, I've been bombarded by second thoughts. Thinking about the reality of the decisions I've made and how many of them have been total mistakes, based on what other people wanted me to do instead of staying true to myself. Now seeing the choices I've made I'm SO incredibly frustrated with myself, because I've been living in a state of Limbo for 24 years - always doing what I don't want to do. There's a verse in Romans 7 that speaks to this: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Why does it matter so much to me what other people think? Why do I feel 'stuck' all the time? Why can't I just speak up and be honest about things?
Conviction.
I've been absolutely convicted of my people pleasing self - to the point where I've had to come clean with people on stories and, in essence, exaggerations that I've said about circumstances in my life that I've lied about in order to "keep the peace". Seriously?!? I know I hate confrontation, but I'm really disappointed in myself for allowing it to get this bad. It's a humbling experience to go to your closest friends and family members and say, "okay, so about that story, yeah... here's how it really went down." But do you want to know the greatest part about coming clean? It's absolutely freeing and it shows that I'm imperfect - simply a sinful human. And by the Grace of the Lord and the love of my friends and family they're able to sit by me and and encourage me to be me, not anyone else.
So here I am... with second thoughts... and I have a choice to make. Do I own up, and face the choices/mistakes I've made or do I go back into my caccoon of comfort and let the old me take over - never confronting, never admitting my faults? I'll go with Option A. It's time for me to step up and allow God to work through the circumstances in the way He wants. That probably means disappointing people, but it also could mean new opportunities of relationship, adventure, and just living life to the fullest. And who knows, maybe I've got a lot more growing and "being called out" to go through. But if that's what it takes to make me into the person I'm supposed to be, then bring it on!
And hopefully, after all the second thoughts, all the regrets, and all the mistakes - there may be some second chances along the way :-)
A few verses that have come to mind lately:
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grown tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Is. 40:29-31
"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." - Jer. 1:17
"Leave your country and your people,' God said, 'and go to the land I will show you." - Acts 7:3
It's time. It's time for me... to go so that I may grow.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Quarter Life Crisis
Recently, I've come across a rather interesting article all about the apparent "Quarter Life Crisis" that many people in my generation face every day. From the struggle to "find ourselves" to the frustration of feeling inadequate in our chosen professions - life in our mid-twenties is not what we ever expected it to be. So often growing up many of us were told by our parents, in a desire to bless us, that we can "do anything you want", "the sky is the limit", "reach for the stars and land on the moon" - but why is it that now that we're adults all these encouragements seem to haunt us rather than bless us?
We've been living in an unrealistic fantasy for our entire lives - that's our problem. Yes, I'm all about motivation and encouragement (heck, look at my last blog post), but I believe that we've kind of hit a wall when it comes to living life when we can no longer function as humans because we have these ideas of what we "deserve" to have. Talk about entitlement! We expect everything to be laid in our laps immediately - the car, the job, the spouse, the house, the family, the money - everything. But the fact of the matter is that our parents worked their BUTTS off for years in order to be where they're at today. They went through the cycle of having the crappy jobs but waiting and working patiently as they strived for the promotion or better opportunity. In this generation of instant gratification, we could learn a lot about life and gain much wisdom from the generations before us. Gaining work ethic insight, encouragement on how to save wisely, and even just mentorship in daily living - all of which comes directly from the past generations. One of my favorite people in the world is my psuedo grandmother, who always reminds me of the days past and how to work diligently for the things I desire in life.
It's no wonder that we're the generation of unwavering debt. It's no wonder that we're the generation on anti-depressants. It's no wonder that we're the generation that goes from one relationship to the next, over and over, looking for the satisfaction that only commitment and working through the struggles can bring. And it's certainly no wonder that we're the generation of the disatisfied, the selfish, and the severly dillusioned. Ouch - that hurt - BAD! But do you ever feel that way? That you're never good enough? Often asking the question, "what the HECK am I here for?" or "life is not at all what I ever expected it to be". Welcome to the club my friend... because thousands of us are struggling with the same issues right now.
And after all this rambling.... I ask myself... What if that something big that I've always been told I'll do isn’t something I'll actually ever see? What if I’m just a stepping stone placed in the lives of those around me to influence the change? What if I’m one small piece of the ever changing mosaic of human history, and what I have to give to the painted portrait would cause complete destruction if I never was. There’s a process to everything under the sun – as the Bible describes in I Corinthians 12:14-31 - without the eye, how would the body see? Without the ear, how would it hear? For each part of the body is essential to the overall wellbeing of the whole. And that’s the way I choose to see the Christian history – without one person, without one influence, without one measure of hope given to another – people would be doomed to an eternity of misery and pain.
I leave you with this encouragement: Even though life seems so mundane and lacking of substance sometimes, take a look at the bigger picture that is being painted. Step back and away from the struggles of your everyday life and choose to see the incredible Mosaic that is being painted in and around you by your touch, your love, your encouragement, and your support in the life of another. For without you, the Mosaic would be incomplete – lacking in some way. Without you, the world would be different. Without you we are an incomplete picture.
Don't give up, but work hard, work diligently, love others, see opportunities to bless and utilize them. And above all, don't let the worry of what you don't have take over the life of blessing that you do have right now. For in everything there is something to be learned.
Phew!
If you want to take a look at the article I read on the Quarter Life Crisis, check it out at: http://www.eyeweekly.com/print/article/55882 - It's worth the read. :-)
We've been living in an unrealistic fantasy for our entire lives - that's our problem. Yes, I'm all about motivation and encouragement (heck, look at my last blog post), but I believe that we've kind of hit a wall when it comes to living life when we can no longer function as humans because we have these ideas of what we "deserve" to have. Talk about entitlement! We expect everything to be laid in our laps immediately - the car, the job, the spouse, the house, the family, the money - everything. But the fact of the matter is that our parents worked their BUTTS off for years in order to be where they're at today. They went through the cycle of having the crappy jobs but waiting and working patiently as they strived for the promotion or better opportunity. In this generation of instant gratification, we could learn a lot about life and gain much wisdom from the generations before us. Gaining work ethic insight, encouragement on how to save wisely, and even just mentorship in daily living - all of which comes directly from the past generations. One of my favorite people in the world is my psuedo grandmother, who always reminds me of the days past and how to work diligently for the things I desire in life.
It's no wonder that we're the generation of unwavering debt. It's no wonder that we're the generation on anti-depressants. It's no wonder that we're the generation that goes from one relationship to the next, over and over, looking for the satisfaction that only commitment and working through the struggles can bring. And it's certainly no wonder that we're the generation of the disatisfied, the selfish, and the severly dillusioned. Ouch - that hurt - BAD! But do you ever feel that way? That you're never good enough? Often asking the question, "what the HECK am I here for?" or "life is not at all what I ever expected it to be". Welcome to the club my friend... because thousands of us are struggling with the same issues right now.
And after all this rambling.... I ask myself... What if that something big that I've always been told I'll do isn’t something I'll actually ever see? What if I’m just a stepping stone placed in the lives of those around me to influence the change? What if I’m one small piece of the ever changing mosaic of human history, and what I have to give to the painted portrait would cause complete destruction if I never was. There’s a process to everything under the sun – as the Bible describes in I Corinthians 12:14-31 - without the eye, how would the body see? Without the ear, how would it hear? For each part of the body is essential to the overall wellbeing of the whole. And that’s the way I choose to see the Christian history – without one person, without one influence, without one measure of hope given to another – people would be doomed to an eternity of misery and pain.
I leave you with this encouragement: Even though life seems so mundane and lacking of substance sometimes, take a look at the bigger picture that is being painted. Step back and away from the struggles of your everyday life and choose to see the incredible Mosaic that is being painted in and around you by your touch, your love, your encouragement, and your support in the life of another. For without you, the Mosaic would be incomplete – lacking in some way. Without you, the world would be different. Without you we are an incomplete picture.
Don't give up, but work hard, work diligently, love others, see opportunities to bless and utilize them. And above all, don't let the worry of what you don't have take over the life of blessing that you do have right now. For in everything there is something to be learned.
Phew!
If you want to take a look at the article I read on the Quarter Life Crisis, check it out at: http://www.eyeweekly.com/print/article/55882 - It's worth the read. :-)
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