Community

If I’ve learned 1 thing, I’ve learned 1000. Over my lifetime I’ve faced again and again decisions and struggles within the relationships of those closest to me. Whether it’s repairing a distant father-daughter relationship or just keeping up with my best friends, I find that each day presents another set of obstacles to face and growth to acquire.

Recently, both of my best friends have come to me about how much of a people pleaser I am. I seem to have everything under control at all times, planned, orderly – you’d never guess that inwardly I fight daily to keep myself “together”. Transparency has always been a sign of weakness to me, yet my dear friends have challenged me that as true friends we give and take together. It doesn’t work if it’s a one sided relationship – resentment surfaces and the pressure to “keep the peace” abounds. And I’m reminded throughout the Bible we’re told to “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6) or to “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn”(Romans 12). If we’re not in community with fellow believers, living life together, then how are we to do what we’re commanded to? Why can’t we seem to be “real” with those closest to us?

Pride.

Yup, I said it. I don’t want people to know that I struggle with “little white lies”. I don’t want people to see how tired I get. I don’t want people to realize that I avoid or run away from commitments because I’m too afraid to face them. I don’t want people to know that I’m terrified of committing to anything because of the failure that I’m sure will result in the end. I don’t want people to know of the past mistakes I’ve made with boyfriends. I don’t want people to see my flaws, my sin.

What I want is for everyone to like me -for everyone to see me as the “well-rounded” girl that has a good head on her shoulders. I want people to see that I’m diligent, dedicated – able to master any and every obstacle that comes my way.

But the freeing truth behind it all is this: when we confess our struggles, our fears, our deepest secrets and sins to those who love us (James 5), we’re suddenly set free from the all-consuming pressure to hide. All of a sudden, someone knows and understands where we’re at in life, what we’re facing. Someone knows how to pray for us, how to encourage us, and how to hold us accountable to the obstacles we face. Suddenly, we have a tangible, earthly source that’s able to speak truth into our lives and build us up, as Christ calls us to do. “Build each other up, just as you are already doing” (I Thess. 5).

A line from an article hit me to my core, “…I don’t want to be dependent on God and His people. I don’t want to have to humble myself and accept help from others. I want to be able to provide for myself, to not have to rely on others, to be independent, self-sufficient, and make it in this world BY MYSELF.” (Kevin Mo-Wong)

Independence is EVERYWHERE in our culture today. I’d go as far as to say that it’s one of the biggest struggles Americans face. The thought that we can go through life alone, not relying on the community of friendship, but doing it all ourselves is completely absurd. Biblically speaking, we’re called to community, we’re called to invest/build into one another’s lives, we’re called to mentor/learn/grow with those within our community. Yet, we fall short. Simply put, our pride and fear always leads to the fall and failure of our “perfect” lives.

I leave you with this: what are your secret struggles? What are the temptations you face daily? Who is your community, the people Christ has brought to you to “do life” with? What things do you need to give up or grow up in (pride, addiction, maturity, past abuse, etc)?




For the full quoted story, check out: Solidarity