I Believe

As of late, I've been challenged greatly to think about why I believe and value the things that I do. Why I hold so closely my relationship with the Lord and my Christian Faith. Well... to many, it's not going to make much sense. I may be seen as "weird" or 'crazy" for believing in something that I cannot physically see or tangibly touch, but I still experience just the same. So here we go...

I believe in God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The trinity. The 3 in 1. That each is made uniquely, yet knit togetherin 1. Each with their own role in the lives of God's children.

I believe that Jesus Christ was God made flesh to walk this earth and experience life as we experience it. I believe that He died for our sins, that we may be forgiven and given life forever with Him. I believe He's our comforter in times of need and our strength in times of weakness.

I believe in the power of prayer to change circumstances.

I believe words are powerful and we should choose them wisely; with them we have the ability to build up or condemn.

I believe in the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who accept Christ. I believe that the Spirit goes to work for us, intercedes for us, challenges us, convicts us, and gives direction and clarity in life.

I believe the Bible is the inspired, infallable Word of God that has not only backing from the history of 2 other religions (except for the New Testament), but also historical confirmation of the happenings recorded as true.

I believe in the Peace of God that transcends all understanding. A peace that cannot be described, which makes what I once worried about seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Whether it's meeting someone for 5 minutes and never seeing them again, or choosing a different route home only to find you're spared from some horrific scene. There are no coincidences...

I believe I have the power to change things in life by prayer and petition. I believe that if I ask, I will receive and be met in my deepest times of need.

I believe in a God who looks at the "impossibilities" of life and goes "It's possible".

I believe in a miracle performing, life giving Creator who loves deeply.

I believe love is the answer to everything. Love God. Love others. And the rest falls into place.

I believe God's hand has been a constant in my life. Whether it was in the midst of the chaos of my dad's accident and recovery, my brother's disappearing, my mom's life threatening health problems, or in my own heartaches and loneliness.

I believe my faith has turned to a relationship with the One and Only. Not just a belief system, but a personal, tangible 2-way relationship where I chat with Him and He speaks ever so gently to me. His reminders, His love, His provision is found in the simplicity of the everyday, the beauty of a sunset, or the promise He gave with silly pink flower.

I believe He loves us. Oh how HE loves US! With such gusto, with such grace, with such mercy and gentleness. I know His presence, I know the comfort of His arms, I know the peace that is only found in Him. And it's unexplainably wonderful, wrecklessly abandoned, undeservingly sweet.

And why do I believe in all of this? Because it's been proven to me over and over in my own life. Because I've had tangible, real experiences that have proven to me the credibility and reality of it all. Because I've met with the One and Only in a way not many experience... and His grace is sufficient. Because I've been a witness to His miracles; His hand has turned around many devastating moments in my life. Because I've seen the healing He brings not only to the weary soul or the broken heart, but even to the physical body. I've seen, I've heard, my heart has understood Him in His works. His unseen glory is where my faith and trust kick in... trusting the promptings of my spirit and His spirit at work in me to speak and bring truth in my life.

I guess what all of this boils down to is this: I'm in love with my Savior, my sweet Jesus. And to the outside world I may look a fool. I may seem ridiculous. But the beauty of His majesty has invaded my soul and taken me from the insecurity of this world to His unfailing arms. When all else fails, He remains. When everything is a mess around me, He's the only clarity I have. When circumstances and people disappoint, He is my strength and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.

He's made me who I am today. And without him I would be nothing. I don't even know if I'd be here today if it weren't for His loving kindness and His merciful grace that sees beyond the mess to the heart of a woman who wants nothing more than Him.

He's my one true love. I get lost in His presence. I find peace and rest in Him. I meet him in the great outdoors and even in the everyday chores. He whispers in the wind. He reveals His care in the love of dear friends. He knows my needs and provides in miraculous ways that can only come from Him. He romances me with his goodness and beckons me to His side. He's my everything....

Tears.

Lots of them.

All because Grace has found me... and His love quenches the deep thirst of the soul to be known and loved.


True Love:

Come close listen to the story

About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died
Now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive

Oh, He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died


Come close listen to the story

True Love - Phil Wickham

Instead of a Show

I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show

Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show

your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands

you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands

Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around

give love to the ones who can’t love at all
give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
instead of a show
I hate all your show


Now that's one heavy song! But SO true!

Songs of the moment....

There's just something about this song that gets my heart everytime... give it a listen. LOVE Michael Ketterer. Oh. My. Word. GOOD stuff!

Dusty Road

And this one too...

Grace like Rain

I've learned

I've learned that I can never make everybody happy. Someone will be hurt, disappointed, frustrated, confused in any given situation of life. The people pleaser in me would say otherwise. But I know now, maybe even for the first time, that no matter what I do to "appease" the masses, it's impossible to please everyone, every time.

I've learned that true friends are a rareity in this world. You know, the ones that stick by you regardless of what you say or do. Regardless of circumstances. Regardless of distance. Regardless of time. Those friends, who pursue and love in everything are a gift.

I've learned that risks are hard and being the "bigger person" is a lot easier said that done. I've learned that persecution happens, and sadly, it's found the most within 'christian' community.

I've learned that life is too short to go through the motions of the everday.

I've learned that mistakes are just little reminders to stay humble and moldable by Him.

I've learned that guilt and shame are 2 very big vices that the enemy uses to suck the life out of us on our earthly journey.

I've learned that loving is easy, losing is difficult, and starting over is scary.

I've learned that Christ's love is sometimes hard to accept, but it's life changing and refreshing when you finally do.

I've learned that friends will disappoint, family will hurt, and people that barely know you will judge you in the worst of ways. But I've learned to love them regardless.

I've learned that I don't think things through very well sometimes. I don't pause to wait on the Lord. No, I get too impatient and too hurried to rest in His answers.

I've learned that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I've learned that His grace is sufficient, in every situation, even the one's I seriously mess up.
 
I've learned that He is the provider of everything I need. The protector and defender of my heart.
 
I've learned to see beyond the walls of those brought into my life and into their hearts. Seeing their true selves, though outwardly they'd try and convince me otherwise.
 
I've learned
His peace
His grace
His love
is for anyone.
 
And I've learned that the "greatest of these is love" and "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul and to love other's as yourself."
 
Love wins. Everytime. Period.

Relationship>Religion

As of late I'm asked more and more if I'm the "religious" type. Something in me always seems to cringe whenever I hear that word... "religious". It just sounds so antagonistic, so harsh, so... judgmental.

And that's the hardest part. Outsiders looking into the world of a Christ follower only see the "rules", the "lifestyle", the "religion" of it. But the fact of the matter is that to the true Christian life is not about being religious or rules. No, it's about a relationship with the One and Only. And relationship is VERY different  than religion...

Religion says you're bad

Relationship says you're forgiven

Religion says do this to earn your goodness

Relationship says my grace is sufficient. Period.

Religion says look at how much better you are than him/her/them

Relationship says lay your life down for your fellow man. Love the unloveable.

Religion lays down judgment and condemnation.

Relationship says Love wins. Always.

Religion says do this or that to earn your eternal home.

Relationship says: choose Me, love Me and your future is forever.

Religion points the finger at the faults of others

Relationship says there is freedom in love.

A religion tells you what to do, promotes shame, encourages judgment, and lays blame on others, while puffing itself up. It's selfish. It's hurtful. It's demanding. And dare I say, it's draining!

Whereas a relationship with Christ is exactly that... a relationship. It's a love relationship with someone who forgives freely, convicts gently, and loves openly. And something incredible that I've realized as of late is that Jesus is fun. He's adventurous. He goes against the grain of religion. He is daring and bold. He's open and honest. He's a lover of the lost. A friend to the friendless. He literally chose to spend His time on earth walking with the "unclean", the "heathen", the "drunkards", and the "prostitutes". He chose the lowly in order that He may bring the truth in love. Christ came for ALL. Period. End of story. He didn't come for the riches and the fame, He didn't come to be glorified and exalted on earth, He came to die for our brokenness, our sins. He paid our every debt. And I bet if He were to come and walk amongst us again today He wouldn't set foot in the churches of today, but would go to the local coffee shop, the beach, even the bars and start building relationship with those inside. His desire is to seek and save the lost... to be the forever friend of those that don't yet know Him.

And I know...

There is no fear in Christ.
There is no shame.
There is no regret.
There is no looking back.

Freedom, Grace, Love, and Mercy are what you find in this relationship. And as with every other relationship, because we love Him, we shouldn't plot to hurt Him, but respect Him and love Him in return.

What once were Pharasee's and Saducee's are now Denominations and Religious. They're one in the same... just a few centuries down the road than those of Christ's day.

Relationship. I choose relationship.

I choose to dance, to sing, to go out and share a meal with others, to walk alongside the lost. I too may be seen as Christ once was, as a "glutton and a drunkard". But who cares? In the grand scheme of things, my loving on the lost is exactly what I'm called to do. Sharing a meal with them, having a glass of wine, sitting at the table of the 'tax collectors" of the land is what I will do everytime if it means I get to share Christ's freely given love to someone. Because I want everyone to experience the freedom and the peace that surpasses all understanding, that only comes from RELATIONSHIP with Him.


P.S. - check out this awesome video that prompted today's blog: Jesus, not religion

Bye bye 2011, Hello 2012

Honestly, I don't have much to say, no wise words, nothing stupendous to share on all things 2011. As with every other year, I sit here on January 1st and look back at the last year. And this year, I find myself looking back and going "what the heck??"

2011 started with a party at some friends house and the first part of the year was filled with similar things. Getting together with friends, and buliding relationships with people whom I thought were like family to me. Funny how I sit at the end of 2011 without those very people I treasured most in my life... funny how quickly things change.

In February my mom had brain surgery and I just about went bonkers with all the logistics. We went from  signing last will's and testaments right down to passwords for bank accounts and last wishes. NOT an enjoyable season of life, to say the least.

In the summer, I dated a boy for the first time in a long time. Though nothing was ever made 'official", I very much valued the times and the memories we shared. And something hit me a bit funny as I recalled my dating history in the past few years. I haven't been in a serious relationship in 3+ years. Sure I've dated people here and there, but nothing serious, nothing steady for over 3 years now. And I sit here at the ripe age of 26 going, "okay Lord, maybe it's just not in the cards for me." And I'm reminded that just because he says "not yet" doesn't mean He's said "no" altogether. In the past year, I've come to understand and appreciate that my story with the man I'll someday be with is going to be anything but ordinary. Don't ask me why I feel that way, I just get this sense that it will be.

In August I got my Crossfit Certification and started training people in November. It's been such a blessing to learn from and come under friends who encouraged me to go after this dream and get it done.

November started with me joining a leadership team at a church in Orange. I'm the person who makes sure all the logistics of every Sunday go according to plan. It's been an eye opening experience, to say the least.

I guess what last year, 2011, boiled down to was another series of stripping down to be rebuilt. I lost friends, I lost a community, a possibly relationship, and so much more, but I've gained so much. Where I've lost "Christian" friends, I've met non-Christians who really challenge me and my beliefs. I've had some of the best conversations to date with some awesome people. With that, God has brought little gifts, little reminders of His love and provision. A new home being one of them, complete with a washer/dryer, gas stove, and a balcony. All things a girl appreciates in life. This year has been nothing short of amazing and challenging. It's been a true blessing to me. And by His grace, I've made it through, hopefully a bit more mature, a bit less selfish, and a lot more loving and caring towards others.

So 2012 - here we come! May you be a year of Jubilee!

Into my journal we go

This morning as I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop and reading the Good Word, I found myself journaling away on a verse I found in Ecclesiastes 1. Here's a glimpse of my journal entry...

"With much wisdom comes much sorrow. The more knowledge, the more grief. - Ecc. 1

Man, that statement is SO true. As more trials come so more wisdom follows. It seems that suffering breeds understanding and knowledge. It's unattainable any other way. Thus in the trials, the suffering, the pain - character and integrity are formed. I've seen the results of those refusing to walk the difficult, slippery, pain stakingly narrow path and it's a lukewarm Christianity that makes my stomach churn. I can only imagine what it does to the Father's heart when His dear sweet children refuse to fight the good fight and would rather surrender to the visible world than the supernatural promises. Complacency and laziness are the fruits of the "booksmart" Christians of today. Experiential knowledge, the kind where one endures "tears for food" and a stripping of "all we once held dear", is a thing of the past in American society. And here I sit, wondering how people can be such fair weather lovers of Christ? It's in the pain, the confusion, the deep wounds of the heart that the honesty and love of the Lord are produced. It's in the suffering that the indelible bond and relationship with the Father comes. For He is our shelter in the storm. And friends, I guarantee you that there will be storms in your life! But if you just run from the problems or stuff them and never face them, how will you ever grow and be used by Him for His ultimate good and pleasing will?"