What do you stand for?

I did it. Finally. I made myself go into the hills, turn off my cell phone, and go on a date with the Lord. It'd been QUITE some time since I've had the opportunity to do so and man was it incredible. I left last Sunday morning somewhat expecting nothing to be resolved. Oh ye of little faith...

Needless to say, I answered the questions from my previous post and thought I'd share some of my musings.

What do you stand for/value?
Father. Son. Spirit.
Others.
Family.
Love.

Grace.

Forgiveness.

Truth.
Freedom.
Generosity.
Hospitality.
Prayer.
Serving others.
Encouragement.
Compassion.
Travel.
Adventure.
Relationship/Friendship.

What do you love?
Jesus.
People.
Outside.
Cooking.
Baking.
Writing.
Hosting parties.
Caring for others.
Road Tripping.
Coffee dates.
Pictures.
Music.
Planning.
Dreaming.
Good conversation.
Random drives.
Running/Fitness.
Hiking.
Biking.
Camping.
Weekend getaways.
Dancing.
Teaching/Training.
Community.
Meeting new people.
Deeply knowing those I love.
Sunsets.
The Beach.
The Stars.

Who are you? 
I'm Brittany, but those who know me best know that Tany is a better descriptor of me. I'm a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend. An adventurer, "health nut", risk taker, and a little girl at heart. I am introspective, yet extroverted. I love others. I value sharing life and communing with them. I love to laugh and smile; joy is the essence of my heart. I love nature and escaping from the busyness of the everyday. I am a planner who can go with the flow. I'm a creature of habit who loves to try new things. I am a dreamer, a goal setter and achiever. I am a thinker of ways I can invest in and love others better. I take note of the things those I love value and cherish. I am willing to do whatever it takes to let those I love know they're loved. I want to look back on my life and know that I loved my God and those He placed in my life well. I want to bless others in crazy ways both relationally and financially. My home will always be one with an "open door" policy where all are welcome and deeply cared for. I want to be remembered as a joy filled, love giving, generous, caring, patient, gentle, kind, compassionate woman of God. I want to walk out Proverbs 31 and leave a legacy for generations to come.

The best part of the day? Re-learning, or better yet, realizing once again that I am loved. Period. No strings attached. There is nothing I can do to change it. My sweet Jesus' loves me. I don't have to prove myself to Him. I don't have to go through man-made hoops to receive this love. It's unconditional. And nothing will ever change that. What a sweet gift to this undeserving girl.

Values, Passions, and Love

What do I value?
What do I stand for?
What makes me, me?
What do I love?
Why do I love it?
What's my passion?
What fits YOU best, not everyone else, but YOU?

A great question that I've been pondering as of late is: What are your beliefs and what are you friends/family's? I've found, far too often, that I'm put in the same camp of opinions and beliefs as my friends and family, when in reality, we are two very different people. Just because I may nod and say "yes" or "okay" doesn't mean I'm in agreement, it means I'm acknowleding your stance. It seems as I look at my life that I've become a bit of a chameleon to what everyone else thinks (and I've been struggling with this for years as my previous posts would suggest). The second I disagree with someone on something, suddenly I'm thrown into this self beating because "oh my gosh, if so and so knew you didn't value that, they'd hate you!". But then I sit back and go... "okay, who's voice is that?" A true friend will love me regardless of our differences and will respect and value the very things you value because you've taken a stand to value those very things. Thus it's VITAL to differentiate between what I believe and what are the opinions and voices of others speaking for me.

It seems that life is at yet another crossroads. Seems they come all too often. But choices need to be made, values addressed, and a new path made to walk down. As I sit each day pondering the options, I find myself overwhelmed with everyone else's voice BUT my Father's. A Sabatical is needed... time out and away from the "busyness" that is this life. Technology distracts me and takes my time far too often. People too, though I LOVE my time with them. And I need to get away and be swept away by the One and Only so that I can clearly, freely, navigate all these questions with Him. And it starts this weekend!

I'm finding myself motivated by a phrase I've seen circulating as of late: "This is your life. Do what you love and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. Start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing. Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people. Share your dreams. Travel often. Some opportunities only come once - SEIZE THEM. Live your dreams and wear your passion."

This could also go right alongside the encouragement of the Lord to find my identity in Him and Him alone. Taking the risks and walking in courage and boldness as He leads me through each trial, blessing, difficulty, and joy in my life.

What a gift His grace is. What a blessing His peace. And Lord, have mercy, give insight, lead me in the direction. May I have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand as I embark on answering these questions. Meet me in the desert... speak to me there. Let's finally get some clarity on all these questions. Make me the woman you want me to be, though I may come across counter-cultural. Let me finally see me and be fully free to be me.

Good vs. evil and how God is good. Period

As of late, I've had some great conversations with friends on all things God, good vs. evil, and how God could be 'good'. The following I wrote in response...

Why would a 'Good' God can allow such chaos, hurt, and tortures happen in this world? This is a great question. And I stand by my statement that God is good, infinitely good, and cannot do bad or evil. He's the epitome, the perfect "good".


Now, let's dive into this a bit... The questions of: why doesn't God stop evil/the bad? Why doesn't God care or help? Are very valid given the atrocities that plague our world today and in generations past. We can look at the horrors of the Holocaust and say, 'surely there is no God, or if there is, he doesn't care'. Same with all that goes on in the middle east and countries at war in africa of today.

Augustine once said 'if there is no God, why is there so much good in the world? If there is a God, why is there so much evil?'

Touche. We can't really have good and evil sans God. We can't have right and wrong. We can't have ethics and morals. The very basis of our cultures and how we interact with one another are based on something or someone laying down the 'guidelines' of life, if you will. You know... Don't murder. Be kind to one another. Etc. If you do don't follow those inherant 'standards' that nearly every human on the planet has, then remorse, regret, guilt, shame, etc rise to the surface. Even down to our emotional responses to things point back to some type of God head that made the response in the 1st place.

If we assume there's evil, bad, horrors in the world, by recognizing that it exists we're assuming there's an objective standard on which it's based. Otherwise every one of us can do whatever they see fit and thus there's no need for order, law, government, leadership, or even corporate hierarchy. If there's no standard for evil, there's no standard for any order in the universe.

Riddle me this (and I'm going on a bit of a tangent here), but if there is no creator, no moment of creation, and everything is straight up evolution and we've been around for so many billions of years, shouldn't there have been enough time gone by now for everything to be made perfect and for evil to have disappeared? I mean, think about that for a second. Shouldn't we be constantly becoming better based on survival of the fittest? But history tells us otherwise. And even the chaos of the world today tells us we're certainly not getting closer to perfection or lacking in the 'bad', I'd dare to say we're getting worse...
And free will? Once God chose to create human beings with free will, it was up to them (up to us), rather than God, as to whether there was sin or not (and thus evil being introduced into the world via sin). That's what free will means. The source of evil is not God's power, but mankind's freedom. We're, unfortunately, the one's who messed up. The overwhelming majority of the pain in the world is caused by our choices to kill, to slander, to be selfish, to break our promises, to stray from truth, or to be reckless. To prevent all evil you must remove all freedom and reduce people to puppets, which means they would lack the ability to freely choose love. Or hate for that matter.

I think I'll wrap this up with this idea: God the Father. Consider for a moment how parents work. A good parent won't always do everything for their child. They won't do their child's homework. They won't tie their kids shoes. They won't do their laundry when they get to a certain age. Are all of these to somehow punish the child or be mean? No. I would say these are signs of a loving parent. If we coddle our children for our whole lives they'll grow up not knowing how to be responsible, or they won't learn in the process. Is it hard not to do everything for your kids? Absolutely. But it would be detrimental to their own good if we did. So it is with God. Does He like suffering? Does He want His children to hurt? Surely not. But if He didn't let us live our lives and learn through and grow through the sufferings, we may very well not be able to fully function at our full, God given, potential. God doesn't allow suffering to punish us or hurt us, he allows suffering to train us and equip us to be better humans. Suffering produces perseverance, hope, trust.... And honestly, if our heart is open to it, the suffering and humility that comes within us produces a unexplainable love and care. We learn from our mistakes. We learn from our sufferings and difficulties.

God seems to have a hiddenness (word?) about Him. There are clues we can follow to find Him or experience Him. Maybe those little nudges we feel deep down within that make us go, 'maybe. No. It can't be... But maybe....' Are one of those very 'clues' that God gives us along the way. If God were to give us constant, absolute proof that He exists then we could no more deny God than we could deny the sun is in the sky. However, God, being the gracious God He is isn't in the business of coercing people into believing in Him. No, He gives us our choice, our free will, to do with the evidence or the clues, what we'd like. But He does say 'seek and you shall find'. He's not far away and unapproachable. He's very near. And given the pursuit of Him, in that, He reveals Himself to the one seeking.

I Believe

As of late, I've been challenged greatly to think about why I believe and value the things that I do. Why I hold so closely my relationship with the Lord and my Christian Faith. Well... to many, it's not going to make much sense. I may be seen as "weird" or 'crazy" for believing in something that I cannot physically see or tangibly touch, but I still experience just the same. So here we go...

I believe in God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The trinity. The 3 in 1. That each is made uniquely, yet knit togetherin 1. Each with their own role in the lives of God's children.

I believe that Jesus Christ was God made flesh to walk this earth and experience life as we experience it. I believe that He died for our sins, that we may be forgiven and given life forever with Him. I believe He's our comforter in times of need and our strength in times of weakness.

I believe in the power of prayer to change circumstances.

I believe words are powerful and we should choose them wisely; with them we have the ability to build up or condemn.

I believe in the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who accept Christ. I believe that the Spirit goes to work for us, intercedes for us, challenges us, convicts us, and gives direction and clarity in life.

I believe the Bible is the inspired, infallable Word of God that has not only backing from the history of 2 other religions (except for the New Testament), but also historical confirmation of the happenings recorded as true.

I believe in the Peace of God that transcends all understanding. A peace that cannot be described, which makes what I once worried about seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Whether it's meeting someone for 5 minutes and never seeing them again, or choosing a different route home only to find you're spared from some horrific scene. There are no coincidences...

I believe I have the power to change things in life by prayer and petition. I believe that if I ask, I will receive and be met in my deepest times of need.

I believe in a God who looks at the "impossibilities" of life and goes "It's possible".

I believe in a miracle performing, life giving Creator who loves deeply.

I believe love is the answer to everything. Love God. Love others. And the rest falls into place.

I believe God's hand has been a constant in my life. Whether it was in the midst of the chaos of my dad's accident and recovery, my brother's disappearing, my mom's life threatening health problems, or in my own heartaches and loneliness.

I believe my faith has turned to a relationship with the One and Only. Not just a belief system, but a personal, tangible 2-way relationship where I chat with Him and He speaks ever so gently to me. His reminders, His love, His provision is found in the simplicity of the everyday, the beauty of a sunset, or the promise He gave with silly pink flower.

I believe He loves us. Oh how HE loves US! With such gusto, with such grace, with such mercy and gentleness. I know His presence, I know the comfort of His arms, I know the peace that is only found in Him. And it's unexplainably wonderful, wrecklessly abandoned, undeservingly sweet.

And why do I believe in all of this? Because it's been proven to me over and over in my own life. Because I've had tangible, real experiences that have proven to me the credibility and reality of it all. Because I've met with the One and Only in a way not many experience... and His grace is sufficient. Because I've been a witness to His miracles; His hand has turned around many devastating moments in my life. Because I've seen the healing He brings not only to the weary soul or the broken heart, but even to the physical body. I've seen, I've heard, my heart has understood Him in His works. His unseen glory is where my faith and trust kick in... trusting the promptings of my spirit and His spirit at work in me to speak and bring truth in my life.

I guess what all of this boils down to is this: I'm in love with my Savior, my sweet Jesus. And to the outside world I may look a fool. I may seem ridiculous. But the beauty of His majesty has invaded my soul and taken me from the insecurity of this world to His unfailing arms. When all else fails, He remains. When everything is a mess around me, He's the only clarity I have. When circumstances and people disappoint, He is my strength and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.

He's made me who I am today. And without him I would be nothing. I don't even know if I'd be here today if it weren't for His loving kindness and His merciful grace that sees beyond the mess to the heart of a woman who wants nothing more than Him.

He's my one true love. I get lost in His presence. I find peace and rest in Him. I meet him in the great outdoors and even in the everyday chores. He whispers in the wind. He reveals His care in the love of dear friends. He knows my needs and provides in miraculous ways that can only come from Him. He romances me with his goodness and beckons me to His side. He's my everything....

Tears.

Lots of them.

All because Grace has found me... and His love quenches the deep thirst of the soul to be known and loved.


True Love:

Come close listen to the story

About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died
Now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive

Oh, He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died


Come close listen to the story

True Love - Phil Wickham

Instead of a Show

I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show

Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show

your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands

you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands

Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around

give love to the ones who can’t love at all
give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
instead of a show
I hate all your show


Now that's one heavy song! But SO true!

Songs of the moment....

There's just something about this song that gets my heart everytime... give it a listen. LOVE Michael Ketterer. Oh. My. Word. GOOD stuff!

Dusty Road

And this one too...

Grace like Rain

I've learned

I've learned that I can never make everybody happy. Someone will be hurt, disappointed, frustrated, confused in any given situation of life. The people pleaser in me would say otherwise. But I know now, maybe even for the first time, that no matter what I do to "appease" the masses, it's impossible to please everyone, every time.

I've learned that true friends are a rareity in this world. You know, the ones that stick by you regardless of what you say or do. Regardless of circumstances. Regardless of distance. Regardless of time. Those friends, who pursue and love in everything are a gift.

I've learned that risks are hard and being the "bigger person" is a lot easier said that done. I've learned that persecution happens, and sadly, it's found the most within 'christian' community.

I've learned that life is too short to go through the motions of the everday.

I've learned that mistakes are just little reminders to stay humble and moldable by Him.

I've learned that guilt and shame are 2 very big vices that the enemy uses to suck the life out of us on our earthly journey.

I've learned that loving is easy, losing is difficult, and starting over is scary.

I've learned that Christ's love is sometimes hard to accept, but it's life changing and refreshing when you finally do.

I've learned that friends will disappoint, family will hurt, and people that barely know you will judge you in the worst of ways. But I've learned to love them regardless.

I've learned that I don't think things through very well sometimes. I don't pause to wait on the Lord. No, I get too impatient and too hurried to rest in His answers.

I've learned that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I've learned that His grace is sufficient, in every situation, even the one's I seriously mess up.
 
I've learned that He is the provider of everything I need. The protector and defender of my heart.
 
I've learned to see beyond the walls of those brought into my life and into their hearts. Seeing their true selves, though outwardly they'd try and convince me otherwise.
 
I've learned
His peace
His grace
His love
is for anyone.
 
And I've learned that the "greatest of these is love" and "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul and to love other's as yourself."
 
Love wins. Everytime. Period.